13.7.07

YarnPlenty Vs Oyinbo Techie?

Distinguished Ladies!! apologies for the belated announcement...Drumroll......!!! After a whopping 50 votes in our BlokeIdol contest, I am pleased to announce that the winner isssssssssss:::

MR DONATUS OF GERMAN YORUBA ORIGIN!!.. Weeeeeeee!!! congrats to Donatus, who has been won by Mimi. Donatus promises Mimi a wonderful time in Nquto Village,drinking palm wine under the guava tree. Mimi, Dona has sent you a matching skurt suit for u to wear when u meet him... good luck mimi.. Toyin Tomato, no vex shogbo, Alao is still available ( smile)

You people of blogville, come and save me o... OK, I know u will say 'this bimbylads has come again' .. ehn, yes i have come again. OT will not kill me o!! Oh! are u new to my blog and u dont know OT? oya, ladies and gentlemen,[meet him here].

I dont know what I did to this man o... oloju kokoro, alakoba man. You know he is no longer working for me, as we have moved departments, and as I kuku realised that he had fasheed my side for the other lepa babe in the department... so i dey rejoice... only for me to be chatting with him yesterday and as i dey chat go.. wait sef, infact, let me copy and paste the conversation here for u people. make una judge wetin I for do.. abi kini gbogbo nonsense yi sef?

Ok, what led to this conversation: I was discussing work o, only for him to be asking about my relationship....only for him to just type

OT - says:
are you 'intimate' with your man as a Christian?!?!?

Bimbylads says:
why?its none of your business ( my eyes were wide open with shock)

OT - says:
because I am a red blooded male, and, as you are such a beautiful and intellegent woman, in your man's position, I could not picture being able to keep my hands off you, so if you are not sleeping with him... hmm..I am wondering if he has more will power than me!

Bimbylads: *appear offline*

Ole...Olojukokoro.. oluju wonko wonko.. see his eyes like 'i am not able to keep my hands off you!'.. hiss... i must sue this yeye man very soon... abi warrabish is all this?? ehn? and now I have anoda oga, Yarn Plenty (YP).., I dont know sef, weda YP or OT....which one is better for my sanity.

YP does not have a crush on me o, he respects him self and all, but (there must always be a but) the only problem be say, YP dey talk, and if e dey talk sense, I no go complain, but na total opaks the guy dey yarn!. As in, me I thought I could talk o! but meen, this guy dey yarn, Omo, na to be holding my eyes open o, when hes talking.

Last week, he asked me to join him briefly for a ‘short’ meeting, in order to touch base on my project. Na so,I carry my self go the meeting o, with pen and pad, ready to discuss WORK...

Bimbylads: " … I am eager to explain to you what phase we are now on this project, especially as it is the nearing the critical path. We had a few challenges with one of our major suppli----"

YP: "hmm.. ( deep sigh)...I am an old man… and you strike me as someone who is closed-----" ( he peered into my eyes and made a gesture like when you zip a dress)

Egba mi! wetin be dis now? How will your being an old man help my project now? and it is me that is closed like zip? You self, u will be pressed like press button!... hiss


Bimbylads:

''(laughing nervously)… Yes, I am quite reserved ( friggin understatement of the year), but in THIS PROJECT, one of our major suppliers took a huge risk in the which--------''


YP:
" Ah ha! I can sense something…. I can sense that you are very passionate about your project.. you need not be.. ( he pauses for effect and then snaps his fingers) …detachment! Detachment is the key.. You see I am an old man,…. ( na so the guy begin yarrrrrrn o! wetin e no talk ? age, detachment and my closed nature o , you name it.., everything BUT the issue i expected us to talk about-"

(all this while, he is still peering into my eyes, and he has a funny way of enlargening his eye balls with each word)

and like that o, YP did not stop talking for like 30 minutes and the funny thing is, he will ask a question and answer it himself..he fit say "bimbylads, are u tired?" then 2 seconds later say... "no! not at all!you are versatile..."..


and all this while, i go juz dey look am like i dey museum...........na who I offend for this London? Why I come dey always get this kain people for my department? abi wetin be all this psychoanalysis? If e dey pain you say you old, go buy Morgan dye now? One application is all it takes!

Bloggers, if na you I offend, abeg no vex… please, why take OT and bring me YP ? ehn??? Not like OT Is better o, Oyinbo Techkie get hin own; YP Get hin own..... wo, I don’t know sef…


hiss.... i just got an email from work communications saying that the office will be going 'bin less' all in the name of recycling.. wo, i tire for all this rubbish o, so no dust bin again? hisss.. very soon we wont have chair and table.... becos we want to save the planet.. !! anyway, i will put my rubbish in my handbag and carry it back home.. I DOUBLE DARE ANYONE TO TURN THEIR NOSES AT ME ON THE TRAIN.


gorra fade.... Bobby mi; paddy mi...i've emailed u.. Toyin tomato, bawo ni? 36...how r u keepin'.. Fineboy- need some tonic noow?!.....dimples;how far now?....


thanks for the emails i received from non-bloggers (u know ur selves). u guys are awesome, thanks a lot..

have a great weekend and see u guys in about 4 weeks ( sorry, no blogging for me for next 4 weeks or somin..mo bizzy gaan).....

have a great weekend
ciao
Bimbylads

33 comments:

Mr.Fineboy said...

You're nuts! Yeepa, Bimby don kil me o! That was a good laugh, gaddem!

catwalq said...

Men,u will not kill me.
Overage office toasting
*show offline*

u r too polite men, I would have told him how much he reminded me of my grandfather....

ababoypart2 said...

I echo the words of Mr Fineboy

Pink-satin said...

lAWL LAWL LAWL

Miss Opeke said...

Oya Update

bhookey84 said...

LMAOOOOO ure crazyyyy

~Mimi~ said...

ohhhhhhhhh my dayzzzzzz men. bimby, imagine, i offered for my segzy contestant number two, it is now this one that i did not offer for that you gave me....

anyway, since he is sending the segzy suit, i will manage his suit, then go and look for my original 'prize' bloke.

me i like mr talkative oh, he is one of those people that can put u to sleep with their yarns..

Bola said...

LMAO at skurt suit, please sew for me too o with matching shoe and bag!!!!!

confused naija girl said...

4 4 months ? how fa now! LOL funny though

uknaija said...

Came here via Fineboy's blog and laughed. But seriously you should talk to HR

JJ said...

LAWL,LAWL!!! Oloju wonko wonko gba ni bobo yen! You're too hilarious and it seems all these people just kno how to push the right buttons...hurry back soon!

JJ said...

Oh yea...i was going to say...i have some meatpie left over from yesterday..u want some? I know i'm not helping matters with your divorce but trust me...they are to die for!!!

Idemili said...

Monthly blogging gini?! No stop this lobbish!

dennycrane said...

but YP get lyrics o! lol...."because I am a red blooded male, and, as you are such a beautiful and intellegent woman, in your man's position, I could not picture being able to keep my hands off you, so if you are not sleeping with him... hmm..I am wondering if he has more will power than me!"

Miss Opeke said...

wat da hell??? Ma'am Bim u go need to do sumthing abt dis o...we dey laf now God no go let us hear bad tori...He has no right to disrespect u lak dat...wetin e think say u bi? Abeg I dey cum dat ur office and I go knock betta sense fo dat shameless man head...

Miss Opeke said...

@Mimi...Mrs Mimi Donatus (***wink***)

bushmon said...

o lagbara!!!apayan lomo yi sha.

laspapi said...

I liked this, Bimby Lads

naijasista said...

Can't believe Donatus is taken, was such an awesome catch! Bimby, u're hilarious

puree said...

Bimby Bimby. You never fail to deliver. Wapa!!!.. and am on my way to MFM to make sur you update sooner than 4weeks....

DebolaLagos said...

nice piece bimby,u might want to drop by at my blog.

DebolaLagos said...

LOL Bimby!nice piece.U guys stop by my blog too.

Anonymous said...

LMAO...you are too funny...saw u in truelove(pretty pic!) and decided to check you out...LOVING your blog...as in, i had to go read the older older posts sef...you're hilarious and so real...loving your style of writing...anyways, had to leave a comment...obviously, much lurve to ya!!!

temmy tayo said...

When u go change? I dey come next week o. Get my stuff ready!

Naija Vixen said...

Warrahell?those pple are some special case studies on their own!!! 4 whole weeks? why now abeg????

Uzo said...

You are closed.....LOL

Vickii said...

Lol, Bimbylads ... I love reading your blog because it's guaranteed to make me laugh!

Take pity on OT, you are a fine girl now even though I'm shocked that he feels he can ask you questions like that at work!!

Miss Opeke said...

BabaSuwe...Ooops! did I say dat outloud...I meant BimbyLads...***Update ooooo***

...toyintomato said...

..highy annoyed, serious vexation, in fact my degree of binuism is increasin right now.. ..you left me with Alao, i am contestin the results, no way, somebody has rigged this thin.
... i sense some jazz assisted intervention in this Bloke idol contest....
..sob..sob.. bimbylads, how can you do this , i thot i had settled you..wink! wink!, abi you did not get the "envelope" of the special donation..lol

AN IBO DUDE'S CORNER said...

dont blame the old man, he saw ur face in the mag and he realised u were hot and some kind of a celebrity, so he is trying to cash in

dont u think so?

Anu boy said...

okay now, seems like u hav got caracters in ur office oh.. nice one

Kpakpando said...

u have kilt me for my mother ooo lawl lawl lawl

Omolola said...

real crase galll.u r too much mahn.........lolllllllllllllllll