8.2.07

INTRODUCING MY BLOG CHARACTERS: OYINBO TECKIE!

Fellow blogarians,

(sigh!)

.....As we grow closer in our blogship, you will slowly become acquainted with my blog characters, those are characters that I will always make mention off, in one blog or the other. These are people that are not random, rather, have impacted in my life one way or the other . The first of these people is Chinese eyez.

Chineze eyes: Chineze eyes is my partner, lover and best friend of 4 years now to be precise..
Soon to be hubby in Jesus name... : o)

Oyinbo Teckie: that one.. hmmm.. Oyinbo teckie is my work colleaque who is in his 50's. The guy honestly scares me because he always passes very politically incorrect comments at me: examples : 'bimbylads, ur the most beautiful black woman i have ever seen' or 'bimbylads, do u have sex with ur man? or 'bimbylads,u really shouldnt wear such skirts.... ooohh.. they hug u soo well.. ( even when im wearing a maternity skirt..).. watch this space...more of Oyinbo Teckie to come ................

Law damsel: fellow blogger and very good friend, very intellectual and smart... please visit her blog as well..

anyway, out of all my blog characters, oyinbo teckie gives me more concern. to be honest,.. i mean.. I AM DAMN FINE.. but I have never ever had any recognition as per fineness from an oyinbo man, on the contrary, Law damsel usually gets all the Oyinbo toasters... for me, its usually ijinle naija bobos that venture close....BUT NOT OYINBO TECKIE OOO.. oyinbo teckie ( OT) has made me his very own agbani, oluchi,naomi campbell, oprah.. u name it..

if i smile.. ( even with my rapidly yellowing-refusing to work under beverly hills formula teeth,) oyinbo teckie has a comment to say..
when i frown,.,, OT will say I frown like a beautiful fish in the sea.. shiooo!
when i speak.. OT will say my voice is like beyonce mixed with maria carey come put stella damascus aboderin on top..
when i laugh.. AHHH.. that one.. OT will just squint his grey eye lashes and say.. ohh 'Bimbylads.. ur laughter brings a certain calmness to my soul.... i no fit even move.. this same laughter that chinese eyez has told me to change other wise, he will forbid me from laughing in public....

BUT what is it about OT that scares me??.. UNA, fasten ya seat belt becos this one na real tori.. one fateful day, I was at home, thinking about OT, and wondering is he may be harmful in anyway, or maybe i could even sue him for harrasment.. I was giddy with excitement at the thought.. suddenly, Channel 5 tuned into a documentary on serial killers.. and like joke like joke, the serial killer profile they spoke about had certain similarities with OT.. like, he would be very good friends with the woman, ask her intimidating questions, and try and get her to dux him.. if she refuses.. he goes for the kill.. NO BE MY PORTION IN JESUS NAME.. I AM COVERED BY THE BLOOD OF JESUS...

heneway.. i have to hemphasize the H..... the day after the documentary.. i met OT at a client site.. and after the meeting, OT peereed at me with his thick teckie glasses and asked me if i wanted a lift to the station.. LIF KINI? LIFT SHA!! TUFI¬!!... emi omo naija..? lai lai to lai lai.. i told him i was meeting a friend and that my friend and i would looooooovve to take the bus because we like oyster card.. LOL! OT looked at me closely, and i almost said.. 'IM LYING.. ILL FOLLOW U, PLS SPARE MY LIFE..'.. but he siad 'cool.. why dont i drop u and ur friend at the station'.. wetin i for do now..so i said.. lemme call her and ask her.. so i picked up my fone,, dialled 150 ( T-mobile customer service) and started a very heartfelt conversation with the machine./.
Bimbylads: ...babes.. where r u??? im done with my meeting...

T-Mobile : currently you do not have enough credit to make a call...

Bimbylads: .what! ur joking...he broke up with you??

T-Mobile: your total balance is now £3 pence.. to credit a voucher..

BimbyLads: Sweetie.. dont cry.. aww.. hushh love.. dont cry... ill be on my way now..

T-Mobile: Im sorry, that is not a valid option.. to credit a voucher... press 1

BimbyLads: OK babes, i know you want to be alone.. just let me come okay

T-Mobile: I will now transfer u to a customer advisor, this call will cost u 25p


Onyiochi.. waka..25p ko.. abeg.. i just hung up and said tried to look very disturbed..
' girl matters.. she wants to be alone...'

OT looked like he would cry.. 'OK Bimbylads, maybe next week.. i must drop you next week..must ..must.. ' he kept on muttering..

NA so i escape that day o.. i never see am since.. tommorow is another cleint meeting.. he will want to offer me ride again.. I keep seeing CHANNEL 4 DOCUMENTARY..

thinking seriously of using dusting powder on my face and tell him that i have one kin something that will catch him if i enter his car....

heneway.. till tommorow.. i shall update you...

Temini tie ni tooto,
Bimbylads

11 comments:

law_damsel said...

lolllllllllllllllllllllllll, bimby lads thanx 4 advertising me...ur krazeeeeeeeeeeeee.lolllll, OT's still on ur case??he's a psycho..woh no put me 4 trouble at work i just dey laugh....

LondonBuki said...

LOL!!!!!!!

I have done that before oh.. Called T-Mobile, acting like I am on a call! LOL!!!

You are too too funny!

OT sounds a little on the PSYCHO side!!!

Favoured Girl said...

LMAO @ this post. Na wah for creepy guys sha. Lol at your conversation with the T-mobile recorded message!!!

Bella Naija said...

LOL....please beware ooo!
tht is scary...if u were in the states u will be a millionaire by now because u would have sued teh dude ASAP!~
ah ah ur good friend is law_damsel, u guys should have strategized something against the dude long time ago!
lmao @ ur phone trick....i've used that to get me out of many sticky situations

chidi said...

lol!!!!!! funny stuff.
I'm new to the blog world as well. check out ma blog on :
www.fya-dancer.blogspot.com

londonnaijachic said...

That your onyibo techie guy is spooky.You've got a ver good sense of humour and i take it your boyfriend has got chinese eyes, yes?

exschoolnerd said...

oyinbo teckie seems like a character..looking forward to reading more about him..

iv actually done that before(posing as if am making a call)..just to escape one weirdo i dirrin want to talk to o.

definately coming back to read more..

Simply Gorgeous said...

I laughed so hard when I met your post. I mean really laugh fall off you chair laughter. Your OT sounds like he is a real perv- maybe never experienced a black woman before. I thought I was only one who scours those shows looking for somebody I know.

You were very fast thinking.If it was me I would have started stuttering and I know he would have caught me then.

Also Good to know that t- mobile is in UK I just thought it was here in the US.

Miss Pearse said...

hahahahahahhahahahaha!!! Lad i found this blog...I shall not be reading it in public cos i cannot chest my laughter.

Vickii said...

LOL Bimbylads, you are way too funny, i can't believe I've only just read this!

'this same laughter that chinese eyez has told me to change other wise, he will forbid me from laughing in public....' ... I'm sure Chinese eyes would have looked at me with contempt if you had heard the way I laughed when i read this!

And your conversation with T-Mobile ... Lol!!

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