The One about the Birth

]mmjmjmf waaaaaa\z:
yay!! That was minibims first blog post. if u understand it, please holla! :-)

I recall with mixed emotions the day I fell into labour.... I just give God all the glory that it has manifested to His glory.

Kai, that day ehn, the hospital knew that somebody called bimbylads had a baby. It all started two days before. My tummy had descended so low, I could harldly walk. People who saw me were swearing that my baby was on the way, but I was soo scared, I secretely wished it would delay as much as possible. As I got home, my tummy started to have what felt like period pains. Chinese eyes, my padi for life was immediately concerned. Is the baby coming? he asked and I shook my head. Not yet o.. this one is false labour.

Fast forward twenty four hours later, and the pain had multiplied by like a million.

I began to walk around my sitting room and practicing my breathing. " breathe. bim.. breathe" chinese eyes would say and I would take a deep breath..and shout "yeeeeeeeeeeeeee" and take another breath..

When it seemed like it wasnt ending, we went to the hospital. Every single change of gear in the car felt like someone was grinding my head with a stone that had been soaked in pepper..
We got to the hospital around 1am. I was put into a nice and cosy room and told to wait. Your baby is not coming yet, said a rather impatient nurse.
So, chinese eyes and I sat down on the bed and began to gist. All of a sudden..... we heard a mighty gwooooooooooaaaaaaaaaa... chai! I thought I was at eleko beach. See water...Hot water. My buriful kaftan was soaked.

My husband ran out of the room shouting,,,, "nurse oo!! nurrrrsiiiiiiiiiiii!" lol.. I was in too much pain to ask him to be posh and ask for a "midwife"

The midwife walked in majestically and calmly. I wanted to shoot her. Only my hands were too heavy. I was in soo much agony. she wiped me clean and said, "bimby, your baby is coming today, get ready".
Yepa! today ke? nooooo... I am not ready for this pickin o. I am still a baby myself jo.

That was when pain upon pain started. kai, I recited all the bible passages I knew. "Fada oooo!... hep meeee" I screamed, forgetting that I was in Lindin, and supposed to be breeish.

They had to silence me with one thing that looked like oxygen mask called gas and air.
"It works well", said a concerned nurse. I chewed the thing so flat you could hear squeaks when I pulled on the air. work well ko, work konga ni. nonsense.

They decided to give me paracetamol and morphine. By then I couldnt even speak. My mouth was hanging open and chinese eyes would pray into the water and drop it inside my mouth. When the morphine kicked in, I was in america and japan at the same time. I was soo high.. lol.. I almost laughed because I was sure everything was floating...But when the contractions start, I would clench my teeth and call Jesus through gritted teeth.

Then after like five hours of agonising pain, somebody came and said, Bimby, you have to push. I then tried to relax. I'd heard that pushing was the easy bit. Please where is the person that said so, so I can e-mail them two slaps. EASY ke? I pussssssssshheeeeeeeeeed and pusssssssshed... the baby no gree come o.

When I got tired and said I was not doing anymore, C.E looked into my eyes and pleaded with me. " Bim, you have to. you have to". ...Have to what? oya you come and lie down now, and let me push a massive hardened football into ur mouth.!

I kuku knew I had no choice, so I gave my self one more chance. I drew all the strength in me and pushed. Out flew this cute little baby with balls of hair and the deepest dimples ever!! awwwwww!! my minibim!! Glory be to God.

So, there it is, my ordeal shared with you all! Thank God for seeing me through.

Meanwhile,. I turned to watch a naija movie, and the background song was something like this:

dont marry him : ( insert a horrific rendition on the piano)

he is a user... a cassanova
money is not everything
oh cassanova why oh why
would you do this to her
you used her for money
you are eeeeeviilll....

WHY do they do this to human beings? Why must the song tell you the story?!!! eesh!

have a nice week y'all... hope I didnt scare any pregger ladies in d house o! e ma worry, the Lord is with You!

P.s: please I need a christian editor that would edit a book I am working on for FREE o!! you will be honorably mentioned when the book is published.. he he.... if interested, please email bimbyladsblog@yahoo.co.uk any takers?