Each time I carry my laptop to blog here or my other inspirational blog , Minibim decides she needs to suck or squeal!.
I cant believe I have no time for myself now.
I miss mama bimby jare, she has this way of screaming some naija praise worship into mini's ears, and for some reason, it always calms her.
Not like when she is around we are best of friends o!.
Kai, mamabimby can nag. And I have told her many times that: organisation skills for me is ability, not abinibi .
My mum is super organised. She has a place for everything...quite unlike her lovely daughter.
Leave mamabimby for a second. ..
Question: Why do some Nigerians think that owning a dog and walking it is a sign of poshness?
Meanwhile, they dont feed the dog well. Nothing like Pedigree or Argen grange or all those dem correct dogfood.
Only the left over eba, mixed with jollof rice that they collected from the birthday party of one woman that they will scrape for their dogs.
It is only the Nigerian man, that will go to a party with extra nylon bag to collect left over food for thier dogs!
And to worsen it, they will now name the dog correct name, like Ashley, or Tasha!
Tasha ko, Tan'mola ni.
I am talking a bit ignorantly here jare. I know there are genuine animal lovers out there, so
No vex. :-)
Back to mamabimby.
Before, I could not keep a secret. This attitude invited plenty flogging from my mum.
Kai, I cant even count how many times my mumsy flogged me for talking too much.
And mama bimby warned me well . "If you hear me discuss something and you tell someone else, I will beat you so bad, that everything will resemble food to you".
Anyway, one day, I over heard my mum discussing something confidential with her friend, Mama Olu.
Kai, the gist was soo sweet, that I could not contain my self.
I carried my two short legs and ran to aunty A's house to give her the gist. ( aunty A is my mum's sister).
When I finished delivering the message that no one sent me, I went back home, fervently hoping that Aunty A will not yarn mumsy that bimbylads had been to do her usual talking. I planned that, if my mum accused me, I would deny vehemently.
I got home and greeted mumsy, who responded with a beautiful smile and invited me to come and eat correct food.
I told her to let me take a bath first....nothing like a warm bath followed by sweet rice and stew abi?!
Must be that everytin dey ok.
Aunty A never yarn. The gist still dey intact, food awaits bimbylads.
So, as I was baffing o, with soap in my eye, mumsy popped into the bathroom.
"bimbylads, how was your day now?" mumsy asks.
" fine ma. I went to see Aunty A today"... I reply, steadying my voice and expecting her to lash out at me. I was prepared to deny.
" that's good, how is aunty A? Hope she is well?" she asks, very sweetly.
The soap is now in my second eye, so I squeezed one eye open to look at her facial expression.
Nothing dey there.
Mumsy was smiling happily at me. She was just making conversation and I was being paranoid.
'She's fine'.
"Ok my dear" she replies. " hurry up and come and eat" she adds and proceeds to step out of the bathroom.
Then she turns back. I cant see her face, but I could hear her movement.
" I forgot to do something today...." she sighs.
"what ma?" I ask, spitting some soap out of my mouth.
" ah, I had a conversation with Mama Olu today, and I really need to tell aunty A about it, but I forgot...." she trails off for a few seconds before continuing..." and I am too tired to go to aunty a's house tonight-'can I send you there for me after dinner- hope u dont mind?'
mind ke??
lightbulb moment.
" ah, mummy, no need for you to go to aunty A's house or to send me there..." I respond quickly.
"why? Bimby...?"she asks; still sweetly as she comes closer to me.
I was elated and proud of my self for taking the 'initiative' by going to Aunty A earlier on in the day.
I smile at her reassuringly. "mummy....to tell Aunty A what you and Mama olu discussed? No need o. I have already told aunty A everything ma, you dont have to worry at...."
My dears, that's all I remember.
The next thing I hear was a resounding GBOWA on my wet soap filled back.
This pain is like no other.
Maybe its because of the soap on my back.
I splutter the soap out of my mouth to let out a screech.
" Amebo!. Did I send you? When will you change you this girl? When? " all this while, mama bimby is delivering my naked back with her hot slaps...
Needless to say, the dinner she prepared went untouched.
Who born me to eat after ?!.
Anyway, thank God for Jesus now, I have changed.
It was a random one, so let me bow out gracefully.
Have a fantastic month of June...


Miss Natural said...

that's hilarious!! lmao lol...kai, I was cracking up. that was real amebo oh hahha lol, thank God u have changed lol, see u feeling so proud lol. awwww i know about mothers too, u love them but sometimes they annoy the hell out of you...I loved this post, it'll send me to bed a happy woman :)

BSNC said...

lol eya poor you. I know what you mean, those kind slap can pain. But really sha you send you message

Dee Brighton said...

thank God you're back!!

YankeeNaija said...

lmao... i swear my dear, you project such imagery. I feel as if i'm actually watching the whole thing unfold before my eyes. my dear, i'm well. i'm so happy for you and your family. continue to stay blessed and really, so glad you're back.

Tinu said...

u just made my week!!i really needed this!!!!
have a fab week!

NoLimit said...

lol...kai but mothers of those days new how deliver hot beating sha!
But thank God for them

rethots said...

...the scolding of a mother, tomorrow's beautiful damsel.

LG said...

buhahahahahahaahaaaaaaa poor bimby'
wit soap in ur second eye (now dats classic, norrin do u jare :-)


Anonymous said...

Bimby's back. YaaaaaaaaaaaY. Funny as always. Howz little bims?


darkelcee said...

rofl, kai i have missed you and mummybims so much. Thank God she Flogged it out of your system. lol

1 + The One said...

I was in public when I read this and I had to hold myself seriously from laughing out really really loudly hahahahaaha

Bwari Boy said...

Ha! Ha! Definitely back!!! Maybe, there is some hope that your male alter egos (Naijafineboy and Babaalaye) will also come back.

Bwari Boy said...

Ha! Ha! Definitely back!!! Maybe, there is some hope that your male alter egos (Naijafineboy and Babaalaye) will also come back.

Kemi said...

Hi Bimbylads it is so refreshing to have you back. Thank God for all the wonderful things that have happened in you life so far. Many more to come in Jesus Name(Amen)
Minibim!!!!!, another Olori ire in the house. May God bless her and watch over her always for you and CE. Thanks for being so hilarious always.

afrofabchic said...

lol! Kids can be so intelligent and so clueless at the same time! Crazy!

archiwiz said...

Chai... Mamabimby set you up for that beating oh. She knew you wouldn't want to keep your "good deed" to yourself.

Pele oh. Minibim needs her dear mummy na. Wetin she go do?

LOL @ the whole Nigerian dog-feeding oh. I remember when my mum used to put us through that torture of packing food for the dogs. Chai.... Thank God say I don open eye.

Tinu said...

just checking up on u hope all is well
have a fantastic weekend
God bless!

aloted said...

lol....its been a while i came here. i thought u had stopped blogging sef...u are just too funny...and your mum also..kai!

hope u r doing well?