13.3.08

Random Rubbish

I have been refreshing my page for two weeks now, hoping that by a stroke of luck, bimbylads would have updated.
I no craze o.
I just wish say I get one personal assistant that can be typing for me as I talk.
Anyway, down to the koko of today's jist, which really is……...nothing.
C'mon, bimbylads, you are better than this ke!. Why don’t you have anything to talk about? AGAIN? Abi na the hunger wey dey wire me? Wo, that hunger will be very okay o, This one that ordinary sandwich consisting of a humble bread, butter &tuna, is costing a good 4 pounds at my office. Imagine, 4 pounds multiply by 250 naira is equals to one thousand naira.
For two slices of bread and tuna? Plus a frowing face from the woman serving you? Not me and you. Let me drink water to hold the hunger.

Oga o. This aso ebi craze has not stopped abi?
Its like for everything, there is aso ebi now. I understand weddings requiring aso ebi, but this one that every body wants to just ensure people buy aso ebi, simply because they feel like.
how I go explain aso-ebi for bridal shower?
or baby shower?

Yours truly has devised a strategic plan. Let me share my plan with u… you must not steal my plan o. Oya, imagine my phone rings:

Bimby: ( not recognizing the number) hello???
Friend: Bimby… how are u? long time
Bimby: sorry, who is this?
Friend: its me, Friend, we spoke like 3 years ago… guess what??!!! I AM GETTING MARRIED!

Bimbylads: ( suddenly recollecting) wowwwwww ….REALLY!!.... Ohh!! Im soo excited for you… Congratssssssssssssssss.. Where, send me the details, ill definitely come for your wedding…. ( grabs a pen and prepares to write wedding details down)

Friend: Thank you. THERE IS ASO EBI O. YOU MUST BUY O. MY ASO EBI---….

Bimbylads: Hello? Hello? Friend? Hello? Are you there??

Friend: Bimby, I can hear you clearly, I said there is aso---

Bimbylads: ( interrupting) Hellooooooo?? This useless network sef..( slaps phone twice) Hellooooooooo?

Friend: Bimby, I CAN HEAR YOU CLEARLY. I say my wedding. I say there is aso ebi, for two hundred and fifty pounds only. gele is not included o......

Bimbylads: CUTS PHONE and SWITCHES IT OFF
*********************************************************************

NONSENSE and jagbajantis. I have not spoken to you in 3 years and you want me to buy your aso ebi.
Aso-ebi ko, Aso-collegue ni. hiss!

However, I shall gladly buy aso ebi for people who matter to me, and who bought my own aso ebi when I was getting married. But how do you explain people who suddenly call you out of the blue and sell aso ebi to you at 75% above market value?
Or simply sell aso ebi to you because they want to. Not like they would notice your presence at the event..
Don’t get me wrong. The concept is a legacy. It is fantastic, but I believe that people should really define who wears aso-ebi and ultimately retain the purpose for which it stands for.
Ebi means family. Aso means cloth. Meaning, aso ebi is cloth of family, so how I go explain my self as 'family' to somebody I hadn't spoken to in 3 years? Hissssssssss.

To that end, I have made Bimbylads' aso-ebi rules, which will take effect from NOW:

1)Bimbylads must have spoken to you in the last three months prior to the event before you sk her to buy any aso ebi
2)Bimby and you must be either related or friends. Not friend of a friend. Not brother of a sister of a cousin.
3)Bimby must know your name without jogging her memory.
4)The aso-ebi must not be more than 25% of market value. Any thing about that is THIEFNESS. Ole
5)The aso ebi must be for a specific, significant occasion- i.e- WEDDING, ENGAGEMENT,A MILESTONE birthday CELEBRATION, ( I don warn you o. Don’t call me to buy aso ebi for your cousin's auntie's 43.999th birthday party

I don talk my own o. If u call me and I have network problem, pls don’t call back. You have read my blog.

Anyway, since I started off not having anything to say,
let me end my random rubbish with dignity.
Have a great week all, and stay blessed
xxxxxx
Bimbylads,

P.s: Idem, I saw ur message, sweetie, ill email u the story sometime this weekend.

34 comments:

teecity said...

m 1st.u dis bimby u ve come again.

lmao@ d aso ebi matter oh.my dear its really true the way pple go abt dis aso ebi thing.aso ebi for bridal shower? dats a good one.

@chinese eyes,abeg leave the guy alone.he is PROUD to be ur husband.

u ve a lovely weekend n do stop by my blog.
teebizzy@blogville.com.
l8rs

darkelcee said...

y cant i be the 1st?

ohhhh no bimby! let me go and read.

30+ said...

E no easy to carry wife o (gbe iyawo) so let chinese enjoy himself.

As per Aso Ebi, I am sure they have heard you lound and clear.

But come o what if the 'said person has dropped comment on your blog in the last 3 months and is blogville resident' they must to qualify shey. Think well before you answer o.

Simi Speaks said...

lol..so so true..

am been hounded by this one girl that i meet ONCE for her aso ebi. imagine? not picking her calls shld have been a hint. but she finally cornered me at a recent baby shower. chai.. didnt have a choice. grudgingly wrote the stupid check. i feel u o jare

darkelcee said...

bimby,
you are not alone in this.

i have 3 text messages in my phone of various "friend" to buy aso-ebi.

pray tell, how i go share this month salary?

i am really waiting for you to answer 30+

@30+ correct sis you don Chinese eyes' wife for tite corner
lawlllll

Anonymous said...

I like your ijebu blood and calculations, you've spoken well, London or not, frankness go deliver u.


Yeye Jebu, mo gbadun e

I celebrate you, I thought i was worse, but like your style.

Aso ebi ko, aso "seat filler" ni.

Anonymous said...

@bimby-In answer to your question about my comment on your last post desperate lady is unknown blogger and confused child. She first entered blogville as confused child then opened another blog as unknown blogger and now as desperate lady. She is your facebook friend as chinwe child so you know her. She said she had two abortions as unknown blogger and is saying she is a "virgin" as desperate lady. Oops sorry she said she just lost her virginity few weeks ago to a twenty one year old man. So in conclusion she is a confused unknown desperado. lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Anonymous said...

desperate lady said...
Lol @ d questions, now I don't knw what to ask....hmm lets see
"What kind of a person do you think I am?"

February 24, 2008 3:47 PM

36 INCHES OF BROWN LEGS said...@desperate lady
i think u r nice but theres something about u i just put a finger on, im not sure u r who/what u say u are.February 24, 2008 6:49 PM

Pink-satin said...

lol!aso-ebi for baby shower..lol!!but that whole aso-ebi is ridiculous..my sister had a highschool mate and they hadt seen in 14 yrs since high school or talked or anything and the girl calls out of the blues to request my sister buys her aso-ebi!

engee said...

lol....my dear dat aso ebi matter no be small tin o.

abeg allow chinese eyes o! atleast e gree say im marry.....some pple use their wedding band do pendant

take care sweets!!!!!

Beyond said...

aso ebi ko, aso collegue ni! bimby , no worry, make una no too vex now.... God go dey provide...abeg, leave CE, he's just being a proud husby and reminding you that all 'em brovas out der ain't gat notin on him.....ndo.... how are you doing?

ebony said...

"As your husband...." That's so cute...your hubby must match you in humor and wit :-)

Red Puree said...

pele dear... more requests on the way ..hehehehe. As pe i be consistent fan, u supose buy my own aso ebi too...lol!

Come to think of it, i can't remember the last time i bought a friend's aso ebi. Don't think i have ever bought any friend's aso ebi. (*thinking hard now*)......don't think so!!!!. I feel bad oooo...hehehehe, maybe i dont parry enough...

Unbiased said...

That was a genuine, zerious rant. I can understand you getting ticked off o.
lol @ bad commection. 250 pounds ke? From where? Your money tree in the backyard?
Some people sha!! Na you go pay for wedding?
I love aso ebi but agree that your rules do sound reasonable so i'll adopted (Se mo need copyright ke?)

Ms. Catwalq said...

I agree, concur...gbogbo the above

eFJay said...

LOL! I loved this entry! Hilarious! I knw hw u feel!

'ef babe'

Bhookey said...

lol bimby bimby , ure so funny lol but im so feeeling u tho

Aijay said...

LMAO!!! Bimby na u know o.
Fashi those rules men. U must buy my own aso ebi by force by force. lol...

mypenmypaper said...

with a simple shirt and trouser, skirt and blouse, why can't two people get married in Nigeria? As far as im concerned, the wedding is only a public declaration - since the guy and gal have made up their mind a lllloooonnnngggg time ago. i mean, why all the aso ebi that will only be worn once in a lifetime? so many people get into a major financial problem once its time for wedding - especially in Nigeria. I know peeps who get loans to be repaid in the next 3-6months just because of wedding. On the wedding day, is it a good reputation to be labelled 'debtor' in an aso ebi? Thank you jare, aso ebi ko, aso colleague ni? At the end of the wedding, after the honey moon, why should the newly wed have to sit down and begin the mathematics: how are we going to repay this and that loan?

why cant a t-shirt and jeans with a soccer face-cap do? I mean, we are in the 21-st century for 'our' info. It doesnt matter coz after the ceremony, we'll still jump inside our 'hummer' jeep. abi?

Idemili said...

Yay! Thanks girl. Kisses on your yellow face.

Uzo said...

The whole aso ebi thing is really so so tired...But then again..i am not one to jump on the bandwagon...The wahala of even getting the damn stuff distributed and getting payment is too much hassle...

Shubby Doo said...

I can only applaud chinese eyes for being sooo sweet...

lol @ the aso ebi thing! so true...everyone wants their own show. i tell you when one enters heaven you will know who is yoruba because we shall be wearing aso ebi! :-)

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

I think that you should trademark those aso ebi rules. Everyone needs to lie by them. lol!

How far?

Jaycee said...

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL........

The Last King Of Scotland said...

thank God im a guy. im only obliged to buy 'fila' which costs £10 or less. how cool!

ejatutu said...

I no get this aso ebi thing sef. how many can you have in ur wardrobe and most of them are not the type you can wear again and if u wear it to another party and some1 u don't even know wears it nko (I hate that kind thing).

ejatutu said...

I should make u laugh, a good friend of mine who qualified for aso ebi went and bought this cheap lace, cut story short. 2 yrs l8r, she asked me where is my lace, it turned out that ileft u=it at the reception hall and it has been at her house since then (laugh, laugh). How i go escape this lace? it is like horror film? The haunting of the Lace

Supergirl said...

LOL! Bimby, i feel you jare. Even me, im anti aso ebi but i dont know if mine is born outta share stinginess o or the fact that its so hard to wear later cos everyone knows where that outfit is coming from. Any which way, Aso ebi is compusory for only family and close friends o. Nice post, you too much

Figurella said...

Finally a blogger that makes me laugh!!! I am still laughing because I thought I was the only one that found this whole Aso ebi business ridiculous.

Ahh well I'm not married yet, who knows maybe by my time I can offer Buy one get one free for my aso ebi, tsk tsk....

Ghanaija said...

LMFAO oremi u crase gan sha buy my own when it is time. I feel u sha.

Kisses

AJIKE said...

lol....very funny... loving your rules...i know people can be so inconsiderate some times...

love ure blog babes!

Smaragd said...

i bought an aso-ebi, and guess what? the bride's sister just bypassed me when she was giving out the souvenirs for aso-ebi! can u imagine? i even called her and she said "i dont have ur own here". i said na wa o, on top my money o .
i totally second ur aso-ebi commandments jare. *hiss*.

Anonymous said...

never been able to get my head roun the whole aso-ebi thing. what's even stranger is that when i was growing up. the celebrant would just direct u to the vendor and u'd purchase yrs if u were interested or else the celeb would help u buy i.e she gives it to u at the price he/she bought it not re-sell it to u at a profit. i was so shocked at this new trend - is it a biz? the only occasion in which a celebrant should sell aso-ebi is if that is her business otherwise it's just daylight robbery - if u can't fford to do wedding, go and jump over a broom in yr village and get it over with. left to me there wouldn't have been aso-ebi at m wedding but i was tripped by what my mum did instead - she dashed all the candidates eligible for aso-ebi the cloth. now, that's how to o it. if anybody sells me any foolish aso-ebi, they had better not be expecting a gift 'cos they ain't getting any - it's their gift money 'll use to buy the cloth. no. 2, i ain't buying any ugly aso-ebi. and 3. what 's all this nonsense about not re-wearing - the cloth i used my money to buy, i ill rock them tire. and why do people buy sky blue aso-ebi when they have blu or scarlet when they have wine - wetin be diff btw sky and light bleu or scarlet and wine red na red. u go get purple den go say na lilac be the correct, abeg!

jay girl said...

your blog is funny o. i had to admit that. nice work bimby.