I have been refreshing my page for two weeks now, hoping that by a stroke of luck, bimbylads would have updated.
I no craze o.
I just wish say I get one personal assistant that can be typing for me as I talk.
Anyway, down to the koko of today's jist, which really is……...nothing.
C'mon, bimbylads, you are better than this ke!. Why don’t you have anything to talk about? AGAIN? Abi na the hunger wey dey wire me? Wo, that hunger will be very okay o, This one that ordinary sandwich consisting of a humble bread, butter &tuna, is costing a good 4 pounds at my office. Imagine, 4 pounds multiply by 250 naira is equals to one thousand naira. For two slices of bread and tuna? Plus a frowing face from the woman serving you? Not me and you. Let me drink water to hold the hunger.
Oga o. This aso ebi craze has not stopped abi?
Its like for everything, there is aso ebi now. I understand weddings requiring aso ebi, but this one that every body wants to just ensure people buy aso ebi, simply because they feel like.
how I go explain aso-ebi for bridal shower?
or baby shower?
Yours truly has devised a strategic plan. Let me share my plan with u… you must not steal my plan o. Oya, imagine my phone rings:
Bimby: ( not recognizing the number) hello???
Friend: Bimby… how are u? long time
Bimby: sorry, who is this?
Friend: its me, Friend, we spoke like 3 years ago… guess what??!!! I AM GETTING MARRIED!
Bimbylads: ( suddenly recollecting) wowwwwww ….REALLY!!.... Ohh!! Im soo excited for you… Congratssssssssssssssss.. Where, send me the details, ill definitely come for your wedding…. ( grabs a pen and prepares to write wedding details down)
Friend: Thank you. THERE IS ASO EBI O. YOU MUST BUY O. MY ASO EBI---….
Bimbylads: Hello? Hello? Friend? Hello? Are you there??
Friend: Bimby, I can hear you clearly, I said there is aso---
Bimbylads: ( interrupting) Hellooooooo?? This useless network sef..( slaps phone twice) Hellooooooooo?
Friend: Bimby, I CAN HEAR YOU CLEARLY. I say my wedding. I say there is aso ebi, for two hundred and fifty pounds only. gele is not included o......
Bimbylads: CUTS PHONE and SWITCHES IT OFF
NONSENSE and jagbajantis. I have not spoken to you in 3 years and you want me to buy your aso ebi.
Aso-ebi ko, Aso-collegue ni. hiss!
However, I shall gladly buy aso ebi for people who matter to me, and who bought my own aso ebi when I was getting married. But how do you explain people who suddenly call you out of the blue and sell aso ebi to you at 75% above market value?
Or simply sell aso ebi to you because they want to. Not like they would notice your presence at the event..
Don’t get me wrong. The concept is a legacy. It is fantastic, but I believe that people should really define who wears aso-ebi and ultimately retain the purpose for which it stands for.
Ebi means family. Aso means cloth. Meaning, aso ebi is cloth of family, so how I go explain my self as 'family' to somebody I hadn't spoken to in 3 years? Hissssssssss.
To that end, I have made Bimbylads' aso-ebi rules, which will take effect from NOW:
1)Bimbylads must have spoken to you in the last three months prior to the event before you sk her to buy any aso ebi
2)Bimby and you must be either related or friends. Not friend of a friend. Not brother of a sister of a cousin.
3)Bimby must know your name without jogging her memory.
4)The aso-ebi must not be more than 25% of market value. Any thing about that is THIEFNESS. Ole
5)The aso ebi must be for a specific, significant occasion- i.e- WEDDING, ENGAGEMENT,A MILESTONE birthday CELEBRATION, ( I don warn you o. Don’t call me to buy aso ebi for your cousin's auntie's 43.999th birthday party
I don talk my own o. If u call me and I have network problem, pls don’t call back. You have read my blog.
Anyway, since I started off not having anything to say,
let me end my random rubbish with dignity.
Have a great week all, and stay blessed
P.s: Idem, I saw ur message, sweetie, ill email u the story sometime this weekend.