Update: my other blog has been updated: CLICK
Man, its been while since I proper blogged. There were days I would want to run and blog, and there were days I’d just think, nah… I’d write BBs instead. Now that BBs is over, my fingers are itching to do something else…and what it is, I don’t know.
Today, I have nothing to talk about. It has been this way since I started BBs. I think I may have lost my ‘old style of writing’. So, I am going to close my eyes and think about what to write. (Eyes closed for 10 seconds).
Nah! Didn’t work. I still can’t think of anything tangible. I am so dry it is unbelievable, so ill ramble… or ill tell u two things about me, simply because I want to, and because its my blog. He he
1) I talk in my sleep, infact, it is soo bad that my husband has resolved to recording my conversations, in hope that maybe I will reveal the winning lottery numbers or better still, if I am up to some mischief. I remember in my secondary school days, I had an exam in French and I had revised French the whole day. At night o, my mumsy was next to me, I think the woman was praying or something, and I was sleeping soundly next to her. Next thing, the thin just grab me.. I just flew up, widened my red eyes shouted ‘qui, non, je suis, non’… omo.. mumsy just reverse her prayer point and began to deliver me.. ko funny o.. the other day nko, my hubby was playing his PS3 happily in the living room and I was in the bedroom, of course, snoring away, that’s how, I just jumped up and shouted ‘ SADEEEEEEEEEEE OOO’ lol… my hubby flung the game and ran into the room… he shook me awake and was like.. Why are u calling Sade? Me, feeling highly embarrassed, shook his hand off and hissed. ‘Who was calling Sade? U must be hearing double..Abeg allow me jo’ before snuggling back under the duvet.. promising myself not to do that again… highly embarrassing…. Someone who has a cure, tell me pls!
2) After almost 10 years of residing abroad,…and working with oyinbo people, my sisters and brothers, bimbylads can still not speak fune!! It is a cause for concern. I have tried and tried and tried,, the fune no gree come,. Meanwhile, If I go to Lagos, and I speak with some people who have not passed Ghana, you will think they don’t mess. A while back, I was conversing with one of my team members, and I mentally told myself that, by fire by force, this FUNE must produce. So I twisted my tongue, carried my nose to the right and left and spoke in Queens English. Lol.. after chatting for like 15 minutes, the guy looks at me bizarrely and asks : ‘ where are u from?’ OPE O!!! the fune worked.. I must sound very toosh.. that’s how I cleared my throat and assumed my fune again. After almost having a heart attack because I was trying to sound ‘posh’… I concluded my conversation and stared at him expectantly. ‘By the way, why do u ask where I am from?’ I asked, elated because I knew I had spoken correct.. na so the man just look me again and smiled. ‘Nothing really, its funny cos you sound sooo south africanish, Gambian, u know, Ghanaian, Kenya...... kind of thing..’.
Ewoo.. Thunder faya u and all those African country u just mentioned!! So I don’t sound like oyinbo people? Na una sabi. I am sure from my writing, you can tell that
I gbadun my naija accent die, its just that sometimes, I like to funelize it for work peeps.. e no suppose hard now?! Any suggestions? And if u abuse me ehn, I will slap your mouth. I am 100% sure that I am not the only one that tries to funelize my English.
Especially peeps that live away from Naija.
Even peeps that live in Naija.
I haven’t been to Lagos in a while, but I hear say if u mistakenly pass Victoria Island , that mall.. Palms? And you see one chic that grew up in the razzest of places, when the babe begins to speak ehn, you will have to pinch yourself say you still dey Lagos. The babe fit say stuff like…
‘ Ooo is that Bimbylads?! Oh my giiidness- you look soo soo noice! I foth you were in Lindin…’
See her mouth like Lindin. I cant stand stuff like that jare. That is not my own kind of fune o. my own is justified. Your own nko? Lol. Oya confess. You know yasef.
That said, people have wondered why I stopped being ‘personal’ on my blog. I have missed blogging the way I used to, but it’s hard to really be yourself any longer. The whole blogging thing wears you down, and besides I just don’t feel it jare. I don exhaust all my gist. Also, I think since I discovered that I can write stories, I have been spending a lot of time doing just that-penning away at any given opportunity.
But I dey. I am fine.
I have put on weight. It’s annoying me. I joined my office gym, but I can’t bring myself to go. Somebody pray for me o, because I am short.
Short and fat don’t work well.
Anyhoo, how are you?