Eyin blogville inhabitants,
how una dey? u guys wont believe how busy i have been with my blogville idol duties, such that i have not had time to even sign any autographs of people. Shuttling to and from Hollywood while staying in 7 star hotels courtesy PINKPEKE productions has been very tasking... Una no vex, ehn, i promise to stop by after next week's recording to sign autographs OK?? OK!... but Sha, the competition is rollicking along slowly ( is that a word..rollicking?).. and trust me, those contestants can SWANG!! chai! thank God i respected my old age and decided to judge.. i mean did u hear my lousy attempt to sing while i was judging? chai!! i sound like a mockalic ( mechanic) ( lol.. mr fineboy, thanks for that word)...
sha, in the spirit of the 7 things u don’t know about me, i thought i should add my yown ( lol, when i was young, i used to add Y to everyword that started with O or sounded like O.... like.. my Yown, my Yorange, my Yhouse .... LOL.. abeg sharrap there,,,. what makes u think u had a toosher childhood than me? hissssssss.....
Here we gow:
Numba wan: : I talk a lot.. like, talk, talk , talk, i talk non stop, i talk in my sleep, i talk to myself ( na u dey craze o.. no be me )... i talk to old peeps, I talk to strangers, I talk to children, one year olds, who cant even respond.. I TALK!! but when i meet someone who talks a lot.... I CANT STAND IT!!.. im like. 'gosh, that babe can talk for Africa!!' LAWL
Numba two: : I once embarrassed my self one time like this in Lagos at a party, i remember one guy was toasting and harassing me to talk to him.. I was frontin and giving the boy CORRECT ATTITUDE, i dey squeeze face like.. ' I’m the hottest chick here, so just ch-ch-chilllll abeg'... anyway, the guy kept on following me around the party o.. and everyone was watching to see if i would agree for the bloke. .. that’s how i now decided to carry my frontin to another level and pose on one door... i marched to the door in my high heels and short skirt, raised my hand over my head and LEANED on the door ( as per, posing and feeling comfy at the same time.. u know that feeling noooww---.. WETIN I HEAR NEXT? AFI GBOAAAA!! ..CREK!! MY ASS BONE CRACKED! AS IN.. STRAIGHT TO THE FLOOR.. ONE WAY TRAFFIC MEEN!! ( i did not know that the FOOLISH door was not closed, it was ajar, and plus. it was the maiguards house)... CHAI!! THE BOBO WEY DEY TOAST ME NO EVEN WAIT FOR 5 SECONDS BEFORE HE SCATTER WITH LAUGHTER.. the party peeps who were watching nko? laughter galore ( amebos like them.. hiss) .. meeeeeeen... what did i do? emi ke? pls.. i sat on the floor o.. i did not even look up until the maiguard shouted at me to shift from his abode... the bloke of cuz did not even toast me again.. sha, that was one lesson to learn, and i share it with y'all, never lean on a door that looks closed in PUBLIC!
Briefly before I joined VF for my secondary school, mumsy took me to one government type public school ooooouuuuuuuutside abuja ( as in stress that OUTTT) for like 2 months. meen, i almost died.. chai, those HAUSA SENIORS PUNISHED MEE EHN!! Collected all my cereal ( me wey i just return from Jand for summer, ensured I carried ‘Kellogs’ to school- ).. as in, one senior like this, Senior Halima,, chai! i can never forget her o.. she made me her school daughter by force, na so senior Halima almost kill me with obtaining all my food o.!! down to my mattress sef!! But, I felt i was too ‘toosh’ , and i refused to wear their uniform, lol!! , u can imagine the beef i caused by always wearing my favorite white dress in school, while other wore thier uniforms.. ko funny meen!... the day i knew i was ' well known' in the school was when one day after my 2nd week of uninterrupted and marathon crying @ the school, the principal announced spitefully during assembly that ' the new girl, who is so spoilt, that has refused to stop crying or wear OUR Uniform,, refused to eat / drink during meals,should step to the podium'.... chai!! they named and shamed me in OUTSIDE ABUJA PUBLIC!! I am sure I could hear all sorts of hisses and insults as I walked to the podium to show myself to the school.. after that incident, I contacted mumsy SHARPISH!!.. who sent her PA the very next week to fly me to Lagos to begin @ VF... thank God!! but it pained me small sha as i was gaining popularity small small, and i was beginning to pick up hausa.. ina kwana??
I AM AMBITIOUS and is always thinking of ways to make money.. AS in, those billions, we must make it. and make it we must .. real soon...
IM NOT even gonna say im down to earth cos u all know that, BUT, as down to earth, funny and as lovable as i can be, I CAN BE NEEAASSSSSSSTYYY!! especially to strangers.. i can meet you for the first time and decide that for some reason 'my spirit no like u'.. finish!! if ur unlucky enough to be that person,..ill be soo cold to u , u wont believe it o.. as in its a bad attitude and im changing it.. but cant help it when my spirit doesn’t like u nooww!! lol
If i didnt have a professional 9-5, i would have been an actress.. YES O.. u heard RIGHT! I WOULD HAVE BEEN AN ACTRESS IN NOLLYWOOD!! lol.. all those days of Mr Ese making me president of Drama Club @ VF cannot go in vain nooow?? For real, any 'correct' producers out there who read my blog regularly, holla @ ur gurl o! bimbylads can ACT.. Im like the Halle Berry of Naija..... na u sabi o, siddon dey look like mugu, me i dey 'network' my skills! infact talking about teachers, who remembers this memorable conversation between Mama( VF Proprietress) and Mr Adeshina ( Math’s teacher for class of '99 and below i think?)
Mama: (assume full blown queens English here)..
‘Congratulations, Mr A, It was announced that you had a baby last week.
Mr A: ( gushes)...
‘yez mo, Omolola eeeeees a ghe' ( Yes ma, Omolola ( baby's name) is a girl..) ....
bruhaahhaaaaaaa... breehheeeeeeeeehheee!! LAWL!!
plssss.. I have to add this!! Remember when Mr F ( Vf ex vice principal).. attempted to invite VF to QC for a barbeque? ....remember what he said during afternoon assembly ?
' QC HAS INVITED US TO A BABAKWAAAY'.. BABAKWAAAY ke?? LAWL!!
No mind me o, u would think that someone like me who takes the piss off peoples accents, and A, H G, B, C Factor will be one 'correct' fune speaking sister.. lol!! which kain.. abeg!! that fune no even stick meen,although i tried to blow fune small when i was saying my verdict on blogville idols o.. meen, a'mo drop that crap.. fune no fit me arallll... loll...
MY ASDA FAN IS STILL HERE, LOOKING AT ME.. as in.. do u think i can carry that thing back to ASDA?? ( Like seriously??)... and come back looking like hunchback of Notredame? ehn? i contemplated it o, but NAH!,, that thingy is HEAVYNESS!! guess what i did? i kuku dismantled the fan, then used the head of the fan only (i.e, the oscillating part), and positioned it on the floor in my room, while making it static ( such that it does not rotate)... and from the floor, the fans neck is bent upwards constantly while doing its job ( poor fan, i must remember to buy ROB for that neck when next i visit boots).. BUT.. it actually looks really cool.. infact, i am writing to DeLonghi ( the fan manufacturers) as we speak, to tell them that i BIMBYLADS, HAS RECONSTRUCTED, RECREATED, AND GIVEN A NEW MEANING TO FAN DESIGN.....
Btw, My A/C arrives next week... me me me me meeeee *sticking out tongue to all u beef cats*
have a fab fab fab week.. and happy voting. PS.. my big brother.. the finest, cutest ( yes, he has dimples like me o)..TLK is participating!!
BUT AS A RESPECTABLE BLOG ABIDING JUDGE, I AM NOT ASKING YOU TO VOTE O... but... *cough*.. ..blood is thicker than water...sorry Bobby, Idem, Mimi, Im a babe , Chicala and the rest of my favs, I lurrrrrrrve u…!
sorry one more question before i jet off...: is it true that when u eat mango and garri, it can kill you?? juz wondering...