12.6.07

Yarning dust...

Eyin blogville inhabitants,

how una dey? u guys wont believe how busy i have been with my blogville idol duties, such that i have not had time to even sign any autographs of people. Shuttling to and from Hollywood while staying in 7 star hotels courtesy PINKPEKE productions has been very tasking... Una no vex, ehn, i promise to stop by after next week's recording to sign autographs OK?? OK!... but Sha, the competition is rollicking along slowly ( is that a word..rollicking?).. and trust me, those contestants can SWANG!! chai! thank God i respected my old age and decided to judge.. i mean did u hear my lousy attempt to sing while i was judging? chai!! i sound like a mockalic ( mechanic) ( lol.. mr fineboy, thanks for that word)...





sha, in the spirit of the 7 things u don’t know about me, i thought i should add my yown ( lol, when i was young, i used to add Y to everyword that started with O or sounded like O.... like.. my Yown, my Yorange, my Yhouse .... LOL.. abeg sharrap there,,,. what makes u think u had a toosher childhood than me? hissssssss.....


Here we gow:

Numba wan: : I talk a lot.. like, talk, talk , talk, i talk non stop, i talk in my sleep, i talk to myself ( na u dey craze o.. no be me )... i talk to old peeps, I talk to strangers, I talk to children, one year olds, who cant even respond.. I TALK!! but when i meet someone who talks a lot.... I CANT STAND IT!!.. im like. 'gosh, that babe can talk for Africa!!' LAWL


Numba two:
: I once embarrassed my self one time like this in Lagos at a party, i remember one guy was toasting and harassing me to talk to him.. I was frontin and giving the boy CORRECT ATTITUDE, i dey squeeze face like.. ' I’m the hottest chick here, so just ch-ch-chilllll abeg'... anyway, the guy kept on following me around the party o.. and everyone was watching to see if i would agree for the bloke. .. that’s how i now decided to carry my frontin to another level and pose on one door... i marched to the door in my high heels and short skirt, raised my hand over my head and LEANED on the door ( as per, posing and feeling comfy at the same time.. u know that feeling noooww---.. WETIN I HEAR NEXT? AFI GBOAAAA!! ..CREK!! MY ASS BONE CRACKED! AS IN.. STRAIGHT TO THE FLOOR.. ONE WAY TRAFFIC MEEN!! ( i did not know that the FOOLISH door was not closed, it was ajar, and plus. it was the maiguards house)... CHAI!! THE BOBO WEY DEY TOAST ME NO EVEN WAIT FOR 5 SECONDS BEFORE HE SCATTER WITH LAUGHTER.. the party peeps who were watching nko? laughter galore ( amebos like them.. hiss) .. meeeeeeen... what did i do? emi ke? pls.. i sat on the floor o.. i did not even look up until the maiguard shouted at me to shift from his abode... the bloke of cuz did not even toast me again.. sha, that was one lesson to learn, and i share it with y'all, never lean on a door that looks closed in PUBLIC!

Numba Three:

Briefly before I joined VF for my secondary school, mumsy took me to one government type public school ooooouuuuuuuutside abuja ( as in stress that OUTTT) for like 2 months. meen, i almost died.. chai, those HAUSA SENIORS PUNISHED MEE EHN!! Collected all my cereal ( me wey i just return from Jand for summer, ensured I carried ‘Kellogs’ to school- ).. as in, one senior like this, Senior Halima,, chai! i can never forget her o.. she made me her school daughter by force, na so senior Halima almost kill me with obtaining all my food o.!! down to my mattress sef!! But, I felt i was too ‘toosh’ , and i refused to wear their uniform, lol!! , u can imagine the beef i caused by always wearing my favorite white dress in school, while other wore thier uniforms.. ko funny meen!... the day i knew i was ' well known' in the school was when one day after my 2nd week of uninterrupted and marathon crying @ the school, the principal announced spitefully during assembly that ' the new girl, who is so spoilt, that has refused to stop crying or wear OUR Uniform,, refused to eat / drink during meals,should step to the podium'.... chai!! they named and shamed me in OUTSIDE ABUJA PUBLIC!! I am sure I could hear all sorts of hisses and insults as I walked to the podium to show myself to the school.. after that incident, I contacted mumsy SHARPISH!!.. who sent her PA the very next week to fly me to Lagos to begin @ VF... thank God!! but it pained me small sha as i was gaining popularity small small, and i was beginning to pick up hausa.. ina kwana??

Numba 4:

I AM AMBITIOUS and is always thinking of ways to make money.. AS in, those billions, we must make it. and make it we must .. real soon...

Numba 5:

IM NOT even gonna say im down to earth cos u all know that, BUT, as down to earth, funny and as lovable as i can be, I CAN BE NEEAASSSSSSSTYYY!! especially to strangers.. i can meet you for the first time and decide that for some reason 'my spirit no like u'.. finish!! if ur unlucky enough to be that person,..ill be soo cold to u , u wont believe it o.. as in its a bad attitude and im changing it.. but cant help it when my spirit doesn’t like u nooww!! lol


Numba 6:

If i didnt have a professional 9-5, i would have been an actress.. YES O.. u heard RIGHT! I WOULD HAVE BEEN AN ACTRESS IN NOLLYWOOD!! lol.. all those days of Mr Ese making me president of Drama Club @ VF cannot go in vain nooow?? For real, any 'correct' producers out there who read my blog regularly, holla @ ur gurl o! bimbylads can ACT.. Im like the Halle Berry of Naija..... na u sabi o, siddon dey look like mugu, me i dey 'network' my skills! infact talking about teachers, who remembers this memorable conversation between Mama( VF Proprietress) and Mr Adeshina ( Math’s teacher for class of '99 and below i think?)

Mama: (assume full blown queens English here)..

‘Congratulations, Mr A, It was announced that you had a baby last week.

Mr A: ( gushes)...
‘yez mo, Omolola eeeeees a ghe' ( Yes ma, Omolola ( baby's name) is a girl..) ....

bruhaahhaaaaaaa... breehheeeeeeeeehheee!! LAWL!!

plssss.. I have to add this!! Remember when Mr F ( Vf ex vice principal).. attempted to invite VF to QC for a barbeque? ....remember what he said during afternoon assembly ?

' QC HAS INVITED US TO A BABAKWAAAY'.. BABAKWAAAY ke?? LAWL!!

No mind me o, u would think that someone like me who takes the piss off peoples accents, and A, H G, B, C Factor will be one 'correct' fune speaking sister.. lol!! which kain.. abeg!! that fune no even stick meen,although i tried to blow fune small when i was saying my verdict on blogville idols o.. meen, a'mo drop that crap.. fune no fit me arallll... loll...


Numba Seven:

MY ASDA FAN IS STILL HERE, LOOKING AT ME.. as in.. do u think i can carry that thing back to ASDA?? ( Like seriously??)... and come back looking like hunchback of Notredame? ehn? i contemplated it o, but NAH!,, that thingy is HEAVYNESS!! guess what i did? i kuku dismantled the fan, then used the head of the fan only (i.e, the oscillating part), and positioned it on the floor in my room, while making it static ( such that it does not rotate)... and from the floor, the fans neck is bent upwards constantly while doing its job ( poor fan, i must remember to buy ROB for that neck when next i visit boots).. BUT.. it actually looks really cool.. infact, i am writing to DeLonghi ( the fan manufacturers) as we speak, to tell them that i BIMBYLADS, HAS RECONSTRUCTED, RECREATED, AND GIVEN A NEW MEANING TO FAN DESIGN.....

Btw, My A/C arrives next week... me me me me meeeee *sticking out tongue to all u beef cats*


have a fab fab fab week.. and happy voting. PS.. my big brother.. the finest, cutest ( yes, he has dimples like me o)..TLK is participating!!

BUT AS A RESPECTABLE BLOG ABIDING JUDGE, I AM NOT ASKING YOU TO VOTE O... but... *cough*.. ..blood is thicker than water...sorry Bobby, Idem, Mimi, Im a babe , Chicala and the rest of my favs, I lurrrrrrrve u…!

sorry one more question before i jet off...: is it true that when u eat mango and garri, it can kill you?? juz wondering...

BYE!

40 comments:

~Mimi~ said...

ARE WE CONTESTANTS ALLOWED TO TALK TO JUDGES POST SHOW? lmao. ABEG I SEND PERSON

BIMBY BIMBY! U CRAK ME UP! OR BETA STILL UR EX VP CRACKS ME UP! BABEKWAY? SAY WHAT? lol i think say what has become my new found fave. phrase...i am sure it will start to irk some people.. ha ha ha.

nyhu....no you cannot solicit votes for your brother! objection mi lord! and no mango and garri cant kill you! lol, i heard the same stuff when I was about 9 and busybody like me, I kuku tried it. shio. lol.
so i am living proof that it doesnt kill.oya i give you the permission to spread the news around.

jadedjune said...

lol @ falling on the floor...lol

ExcitedJade said...

Bimbylads, u're not serious.... mango and garri cannot kill you, tried it way back

fluffycutething said...

This gal....

Don't make them drive me away from this office this morning oh (lol)

Such a hilarious "7 things meme"...

How u dey?

o.šeyï said...

That was hilarious. lol. I think i would have just crawled into the maigad's spot and just stayed there till the party was over. lol. That is EMBARASSING... Something close happened to me but this time i just tripped and fell... my skirt was over my head and my ass was welcoming serious breeze. See boys! lol.

So people are actually singing... i didnt get what the whole blogville idol thing was about. Thats something to watch. lol.

Waffarian said...

NAIJA BLOGGERS- THE BOOK!
Dear friends, please do not forget to send in your submissions, a lot of people have sent in great stuff but a lot of my favourite bloggers are missing, what's up, people? Come on, send in your stuff! June 15th is the last day, come on!


Submissions should be sent to nigerianbloggers@yahoo.com not later than Friday, June the 15th 2007 stating date of blogging and blogname/address.

Simply Gorgeous said...

Bimby, you are a true nut by birth....Ina kwana? (LOL) ...So I will respond to you. " Lafiya lau" Ya ya mai gida? (smile)

I will replace all of your cereal that Sis Halima has taken from you...

You get upset when someone outflaps you? Are you serious ?

Idemili said...

Ojoro! LOL Mango and garry will not kill you, abeg.

You can only find out by trying if you don't believe me.

bhookey84 said...

Lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooo ure a serious craseeeeeeee person ohmygawd, see me trying to do smal small laff and my oga still came to ask me if i was okay, u wont put me in trouble o , alamposer like u , lol

Anonymous said...

LOLLLL....!!u r just too funny, its unreal, u should write a commedy ...

Anonymous said...

Hehehehehe@ na you dey crase.Stop talking to yourself ke lol. LOL@barbakwaay, rotflmao. Always heard about the mango and garri thing, too chicken to try it, not ready to die yet, lol. Your music thingy isnt working for me, i dont know if it's just me, i would really love to listen to the Arugboojo song...stay blessed!

Anonymous said...

omg...i went to vf i was a year below u and i was on the quiet side so i don't think you'll remember me. But i read ur blog because its so darn entertaining, and the story about mr. fasuyi... had me rollingggg all over again....babakwe! who could ever forget that!

LondonBuki said...

BLads, you are very special.

So you were a razz child? I should have known... I am sure you thought you were cute when you said, "My yown". Nonsense!

I heard that mango and garri nonsense too but I never tried it... why would you even have mango and garri at the same time?

I was laugggghhhing when I read about your disgrace while you were fronting... GOOD FOR YOU!!!! Did you hear! Nkan to da fun e ni yen!

You can be nasty eh? Please try and be nasty to me, I will show you pepper!

You know I like you sha?

Simply Gorgeous said...

Bimby, how much is your son going to rise for my daughter's dowry. I advise you to start saving from now....

Vickii said...

Lol Bimby, you are very funny, I was laughing all the way through this post! Especially at you falling down when you were fronting for that guy ... please jare, the silly boy couldn't be chilvarous and help you up?

I can't imagine you being nasty, you're too sweet!

36 INCHES OF BROWN LEGS said...

i knew that it was u. oh my God u went to VF. now all that madness u display makes sense.BL. okay!!!!

mr Adeshinas voice was irritating to say the least and i dont like mama, nothing personal just dont. lol

zaiprincesa said...

lol..BIMBY!..shakara olo je!..hehehe..na u u fall yakata in front of everybody..ee ya..happens to the best of us jor..at least, now u know se u no fit dey do alamposa outside..or at least, be careful what u lean on...hehehe...

And u cannot be doing ojoro oh!..hmm...we'll be watching u closely..

My 2 cents said...

You are just too much, honestly I have tears in my eyes from laughing too much. Nollywood actress ke? O ga oh!

BiMbyLaDs** said...

@mimi, shaarap jo! with ur bend down pick blue dress... lol..please join us in using the word o.. lol

@jaded june/excited jade: lol. thanks 4 clarfifying. ill try it during mango season

@fluffy: hey chick! im ok!! u nko?

@o.seyi: LOL @ ur breezy ass!! lol

@waffy: sent mine! thankx

@simply: thanks love, ill send u my provision list in full. i have responded as per ur daughters bridal price on ur page

@idemili: KILLER!! u wan kill me abi!! i should try it? oya try it for me noow!

@bhookey: my dear, how now? long time, sorry babe, i closed my face book account!!

@anonymous: lol. thanks for stopping by, the arugboojo song has some issues, its not just u, ill work at getting it better...

@VF anonymous: hi luv, u went to VF too, thats good, i just might remember u o! u know i was very loud!! lol!! thanks babe for stopping by @ my blog!

@londonbuki: wat is Strong with u? leave me alone o! i was a cute and fune speaking baby.. lol!! i love u too!!

@vikkii: hi luvvie!! lol!! u cant imagine me nasty?? *trying to look angry**. i can be nasty!! i can! i can!! lol!!

@36 inches: OOOWKEEY!! so u def attended VF too.. MR Adesina got on my last nerves cos he always used to *eye* me.. lol. how r u doing!! i dont think i can figure out who u r yet!! ill keep trying.. take care babe!! hows work?

@zai: lolllllll@ alamposa!! lol.no mind me o!! pelu gbo gbo high heels!! lol!! i an honest judge jare.. una allow me!! lol!!


@my2cents: lol!! thanks!! NOLLYWOOD actress o!! stella D has no'in on me!! loll!! ( my mother would have KILLED me!!) lol

im a babe said...

barbakway??? lmfao.
and ive learnt a lesson 4rm that ur incident wit the toaster.

always make sure ur sitting down b4 doin shakara lol

dolly said...

Mago and garri cannot kill, why should you evn taje the two at a time ..... Lol@ you falling on the floor, the maiguard sef no good

Life through rose-tinted glasses said...

Babe ur just too funny...i'm soooo addicted to ur blog now and i'm so loving u...take care..x

BiMbyLaDs** said...

@ im a babe & dolly: pray tell!! lol

@ life: thanks luv, thats very sweet of u to say! thank u! :)/. ur blog is open to invited readers only so i cant visit it!! aww!! lol

@

Uzo said...

Hey..I love in Lagos but i used to live in the States - maybe that's why u got it mixed up?

Mango and garri might nauseate you but kill you? I doubt it....

Anu boy said...

lol... nice one. na overpose kill you... you are lucky i was not there, cos i go laff till i faint....fine babe

omolola said...

Rflmao @ Omolola iz a ghe!u r tooo funny man.lurvvvvn ur blogg

BlogVille Idols said...

hey bimby lad we got ur voice comment and writeencomment tanx for ur time again...gazelle is sparkle o..i dont kow y d girl dey change her name like that..wat happend to tlk?

omohemi Benson said...

lol@the public door thing.
I really enjoyed reading your 7.

Yes, I love(iN A BLOGVILLE WAY O) TLK too and I have been voting for him, thanks to all the guguru and juice, he has been buying for me. lawl.

The Last King Of Scotland said...

mango and garri may give u diarrhoea so stay away!. nice piece, remember d school in abuja. crazy, very funny

~Mimi~ said...

hi bimby. got your comment. lol i know its all love now, but my eyes dey my back lol

meanwhile check out this site lol, for all you romantics

http://www.spelhouse.com/gray/

chacha said...

hey Nice song on yr page.....wonder who sang it

Mr.Fineboy said...

Whaaaat? U took it way back with this song. Jaaaaam!

Confused Naija Girl said...

bimby where have you been??!!! this girl must everthing of yours be funny. even your 7 things meme?

temmy tayo said...

U should be called little trouble in big London.

How is that gal called LAW doing? I never sew my this ''thing'' o. U know what i am talking about.

temmy tayo said...

by the way if mango and garri kills, then i must have died a hundred times!

BOBBY said...

*In like my white girl voice and what not*
"I like love you and shit...like just freaking love the shit outta you...

who are you anyway? I just love you and what not"

Lawwwwlll!

Anonymous said...

heyy...bimby...i love ur blog..and i was sooo excited to know dat u went to VF too cos i went there too...but i guess i was there afta u graduated but nither the less VF blood still make us SISTERS...am gon say it again I LOVE UR BLOGG!!!...

adeola said...

Bimbo...oh my God! your blog is so funny! I have been LMAO since.......i didnt even know u are bimbylads...thanks for leaving a commnet on my blog...it was yejide odedina that came visiting and mentioned your blog to me....dont worry..i shall be visiting...tk care dear..

Anonymous said...

It is extremely interesting for me to read the post. Thanx for it. I like such themes and anything connected to them. I definitely want to read a bit more on that blog soon.

Anonymous said...

Keep on posting such articles. I love to read stories like that. BTW add some pics :)