That yeye Indian man called my land line again for the 10th time.. and for the 10th time, i told him that I AM NOT DR SHALIMA.. i mean,.. is BT going bonkers? infact, the indian man and I have formed a relationship.
Each time he calls, and I pick up, he doesnt speak @ first, then i say hello?? hellooow?? then he goes ..'can i speank to Dactar Shalimarrr ( neck shaking from left to right with STRONG indian accent)... I then go.. ( with the thickest yoruba accent ever).. 'helleeuuu, hi ham not dokitor shalima o.. abi ki lo de gaan?
then he apologises very profusely indeed and hangs up.. every single time, for the past 10 times.. infact, as from now henceforth, I shall change my way of dealing with this stubborn caller.. next time he calls, and once he asks for Dr Shalima.. I will not think twice before I exclaim:
'Ravindah Sukvindar Singh.. Ravinda! Raveeeeee.... how are u? i have missed u.. pati pati..it is indeed me, Dr Shalimar.. ooo,.. I succeeded in escaping from Indiya.. ohh.. patipati..myself, Dr Sukvinghee Patel and Dr Ama Akuba Antonnnyyyyy live in the same house.. patipatiiiii ' ( neck and head shaking all the while of course)
hopefully, he will know how it feels when someone calls him what he is not...hissssssss
My weekend? oh.. funny you ask.. because it was the maadest fun ever.. I started the day with landing at My frineds bridal shower.. looking all cute.. ( okay when no one compliments me, i tend to do it myself).... although one of the lows of the bridal shower was the irritating unilag girl that took it upon herslef to be giving fine fine bimbylads attitude... like Dudeeeeeeeee... its not my fault u r not as fine as me o.. as they say.. dont playa haaaaate. apprecciiiaatee.. LOL...i think she was beefing my yellow face.. little does she know that it takes me plenty rose water, visible difference, jergens, ori, vaseline,bodyshop vitamin e,water,soon to add aveda ( ;) Low)..... to get that balance.. oh.. plus MAC powder..naija chicks.. just be beefin for no reason.. hissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss...ok lemme stop hissing before my tongue will get stuck on the left side of my face...
After the bridal shower, i met up with another set of my gurls.. lawdamsel and Miss K- to begin our journey to Law Damsels 'strictly by IV Cousins wedding' in somewhere outside london... lawdamsels allergy reaction did not stop her from going to pari o.. omo.. the gurl ruffed it ( chop knuckle jare omo togbon)
The wedding .. kai.. meen,.. before we got there nko? the place was faaaaaaarrrrrrrrrr... infact the road we took there.. WALAI! i have never seen anything like it before.. it was exactly like i was on ijebu igbo express way.. no street light.. just dark dark road.. i just dey plead blood of Jesus..
make otokoto no come commot from the bush...
but forget the kin houses on the road.. beaurrriful houses.. meen.. if not for the fact that chinese eyes and i have reached one level of understanding.. I would have gone knocking on all those doors asking for a man to hook up with.. BURIFUL houses... on a long dark road.. lol
we finaaaaaaaaally reached there.. We thank God that they did not ask for lawdamsels IV o.. because i was sooo hungry that I had made up my mind that if anyone SHOULD MISTAKENLY VENTURE NEAR US TO ASK FOR IV.. i will fire prayer point on thier head..MFM like ones for that matter...
Once we enetered the hall, Miss K and Lawdamsel were still looking for seat.. Miss Bimbylads had scanned the buffet table and counted how many people were on the Q.
they sha found seat and trust me. i marched straight to the buffet table.. forget chick.. hunger must be satisfied... while we were on the Q, one oyinbo man was behind us, and as lawdamsel was wearing the wooding aso ebi, the oyinbo man begin question galore.. the guyy lucky say no be me dey wear that woodin cos he would have called police for me.. i tend to be very violent when i am hungry and u want to ask me stupid questions..
' wow.. this material.. whats it called?, are u nigerian? igbo or yoruba? i want to go to Nigeria.. (laughter).. when is..what is.. where is.. how is...?
the guy just dey ask question..I almost ask him if law damsel looked like BBC HISTORY Channel.. hissssss.. oyinbo too dey ask question jare...
Me i was just eyeing the man and counting as the Q was decreasing.. trust nice law damsel to answer all his questions.. lol.. omo when it got to my turn..I PACKED FOOD EHN.. moinmoin, shaki, suya, efo riro, puff puff.. u NAME it... lol.. we cannot come down a long dark road for norins meen...I even have small suya in law damsels house..babe if ur reading this.. imma be @ urs tonight..
after eating we left and began our 3 hour drive back to london..Miss K, thanks for Driving o.. loved it...
Sunday was okay... my room is in a MESSS...!! I cant find my vitals in that mess...
sha,its Monday and Im back at work.. my mumsy is coming to jand real soon.. i must say that it will not be an impressive blog when i tell her that i have not done jack since we last spoke..
Bella naija and Mr.Fineboy thanks for the shout out on ur blog, one peppersoup and bournvita coming your way, true bimbylads style!
anyway y'all have a fantabbulous week.. Dr shalima will not locate u o..amin..