29.9.09

Bimby's 7 Marriage Notions


I think, ( seriously) that blogger is going bonkers. I have been trying to access my account for days and for some reason, it refused to let me log in. I suspect a conspiracy. Maybe somebody at blogger headquarters is jealousing me.

OK!!! get serious BIMBY!

How' ve u's been? As always, I totally have nothing to blog about, so while I was doing blog'orun (dats gbeborun for bloggers), I came across an interesting post on temitayo 212's blog on the Topic for today, and I thought to myself, 'why not do somin similar?' i.e: Im too lazy to be innovative.

Disclaimer: these views did not necessarily happen in my own marriage o, before somebody will email Chinese eyes and report me! ehen!. I am just advising based on my collective sense.
Bimby's 7 Marriage Notions:
( composed over a bowl of white rice and cowfoot stew).

1) PLEASE don't marry someone because a PASTOR recieved that person for you. I beg you with everything in me, if you are single and havent started talking to God about your future partner, you bera begin now. And do it every day. Its probably the best thing you will do for your marriage. I am tired of hearing people say " The Pastor said he is the one for me". The PASTOR said... what did GOD say? ehn? dey look me oh!
Remember it is not pastor and you that will marry this person o. Its YOU alone. When everybody finishes eating rice on your wedding day, your eyes will open at how quickly people will disappear home, probably muttering with disgust that the rice they ate at your wedding was too salty'.

Dont get me wrong o, a Pastor's counsel is invaluable when it comes to seeking a life partner, but PLEASE dont rely on it alone, especially when the guy/ girl you want to marry started attending your church because you invited him there ( he or she may just be doing show for pastor..lol). God can never deceive you, neither can He be deceived. He will show you your own if you ask HIM with patience and submission to his will... WHICH LEADS ME TO:


2) DON'T KILL yourself to have a celebritin wedding! You want to appear in THIS TOMORROW, PEOPLE MAGAZINE abi Daily Weddings? Then write a correct article or do a photo shoot!.. HA bA!! Don't compete to have your wedding appear in magazines by force now. If it happens, fine. but please don't threaten the editors of the magazine with a shotgun!
* no offence to weddings featured in magazines, I am referring to people who get married just for that fact!

Although I had a fairly large wedding that I enjoyed, I would gladly have exchanged it for a nice three week vacation on an exotic Island with my Chinese eyes any day. Because, thinking about it, the rice and dodo I ate sef no even full me. And I watched from my high table with gritting teeth as guests( invited and UN invited) were going back and forth collecting extra food. Na your wedding abi na my own? who suppose eat more? And we all know that a bride cannot eat because of the nerves.
Bottom line is, Its just a one day affair. The wedding cannot last more than, patapata, say one week ( If you are an Indian princess maybe 2 weeks, lol). After that day, its over. So, why borrow money from bank without collateral to do wedding? WHY? oh WHY? The same people that encouraged you to spend your life savings on one day may very well be the same ones that will yap your torn leather chair in your house later...!! why bother?!

Let me throw in a proverb here: wedding na dream, marriage na alarm clock!

3) Marry your best friend. Spiritually and Physically. I mean that in every way.

Spiritually: Dont marry someone that will slap your head with a notebook when you mention Prayer. Dont marry someone that will carry his/ her pillow to the floor when you carry your bible. And most importantly, Dont marry someone that will change the locks the day you go to church.! No say I no tell you.

Physically: Do a simple bimbylads test: Lock yourselves in one room for four hours. No sex, no touching, no entertainment, NOTHING except yourselves AND TALK.... If you both come out of that room smiling and laughing still, then you probably are on the right path. I dont mean a 'smile plastered on your face out of frustration o!'.

HINT: If you can talk to your fiancee like he's your closest pally, then things will be much easier in marriage. You will be amazed at the percentage of people that cannot hold a simple conversation with thier spouses!!
4) MEET the INLAWS!! abeg o!! biko, jo.. MEET the INLAWS. SPEND TIME TO LOVE THEM!! and Pray they Love you ( oh pray pray pray). Dont come back after three weeks in marriage to say: " I didnt know his angry sister is severely allergic to Okra" after you have meticulously cooked a whole pot of Ila asepo for her"

5) After marriage, dont hide things from your spouse. be open and bare all. After all, God says we shall be one flesh. Of course, use your discretion over when to bare all!! There may be some things that are best left said till later. But, no secrets because if someone else gets a hang of that secret and tells your spouse before you do, you may be writing a letter to wahala! Except of course if God tells you otherwise. ( I doubt that very much for God is not an author of confusion).

**Bimbylads did not send you to confess an affair with your boss to your spouse, when you know he keeps an AK47 rifle in the roof of the house! ehen!


6) Do everything you can to remain IN LOVE after your wedding day. It may be hard when kids come and life overwhelms you, but try to keep the spark sparkling. If you dont make the effort now, you may wake up in ten years and wonder: Where did it go wrong? ( I severely say: GOD FORBID).

Note that a little compliment, kiss, help with dishes , wash his car, love letter or gift may go a long way to make your spouse feel like you r still in love.


7) DONT COMPARE your spouse with another. Its soo easy for us to look with envy at another relationship and say 'why dosent my wife hold me like that in public?'. Longathroat! Do you know what that wife does to her husband when no one else is there? Because things look 'rosy' with a couple on the outside does not mean o. You may be shocked to find out that a couple who act like they cannot bare to be separated outside may be flushing each other's head in a toilet at home.
Appreciate your own, be content and thank God!


Bimbylads don talk her own. I may not be long in this game, but my eye don see and my ear don hear.
challenge or inspire me.
xxx

Bimbylads














17 comments:

Myne Whitman said...

Bimbylads, I heard you had a fiction blog like me but couldn't find it. I saw this link from Temmytayo's and decided to check. I don't hink it's the same but good notions still. I'm a few months gone so some of that comes in useful.

I have added you. Take care.

Anonymous said...

yep i did. took it out to develop the plot, its on this blog and gas been completed. will check ur story out soon
bim

temmy tayo said...

Bimmy, I don talk am no be you go kill me. I like all the points you gave , I cannot get over the reason why people waste money on weddings but I guess different strokes.

I also tell people not to compare oh, what works for A may not work for B. I knw couples that call themselves idiots and foolish and they do not get angry over it. The day I try it with boo he may just send my bags to my parents! lol

YankeeNaija said...

you could talk about the correct way to flush a toilet and i'd still love it. you're just a genius with words and again, you've inspired me. you should have come up with this six years ago when i was dating my soon to be ex-husband and saved me such wahala, but at least, with that past experience and this blog, i'll be ready for the new one, the true one, the correct one. take care love. you're amazing.

~B~ said...

LWKMD!! I'm loving the proverb! teheehee...I've taken notes oh, ese!

bimbylads said...

Yankee Naija: that compliment was too much. I am humbled. Thank you. God will grant your hearts desire for your own man! Amin!

aloted said...

No need to challenge u on this post...u are totally on point...

wisdom is profitable to direct!

nice one

Omuluzua said...

i thought i was on the wrong blog.. let me go back to read

Omuluzua said...

Thank you bimby. I never seize to be amazed at what some people will do just to have a big wedding! well its different strokes for all of us.

Anonymous said...

korret talk my sista. e don tey o. showa pa

engee

Anonymous said...

Nice write up but being married for 10years and a few months i must say that even though all the points u have raised are important the truth is its ONLY God that can sustain the marriage, i disagree with the point that you have to pray for your in laws to love you truth be said as time goes on in marriage in laws have a perception about you whether you believe it or not, in laws that love u do so because of their sibling or child and the respect they share, i wont advise wasting your energy on such prayer points when there are more more important issues to deal with, the in laws can help contribute to issues in marriage like i have seen in mine, i have prayed fasted, and even sacrificed my happiness for them but bim it does not work and guess what its changed the moment i started praying for my hubby's eyes to be opened and to see the problems he was creating, acombination of a possessivemother in law and jobless brothers is the last thing you need.
on the point of marrying your best friend maybe you have been lucky my dear in reality your best friend could be your worst enemy when you begin to live together and one spouse is not mentally matured and ready for the life long committment he has found himself in, no matter the manner of communication that friendship will drain with time especially if you have married a babe, i think i better version of the advise would be marry a mentally, emotionally,matured independent man who hasd a minf od his own and has respect for God, dont get me wrong friednship is important but only when both of you see it as it is.

There is positive and negative comparison now wisdom is applicable in all situations, even as individual beings we make comparisons, even with our children we do, when my twins were 1year old and walking i compared them with my neice who was 14months and not even taking a step, not to ridicule the parents but out of concern and encouragement, the truth is sometimes you need to compare ti know where u are , where u ought to be and where u are going same applies in marriage

Nice Anon said...

Knowledge dropped! Now I will keep this in mind.

TinTin said...

lmaooooo@ 'this tomorrow' true talk!!

yhurmie said...

wow! avint been here in a long while...wondering which winchie caused dat... may av 2 do wit naija fineboy's exit from blogville tho...ur blog makes me miss his so! BTW, love the new outlay.

also, am so gonna try out the 'bimbylads physically' test...lol

~Sirius~ said...

So on point!

I HATE BIG WEDDINGS!!!

And when I have mine, i intend for it to be very SMALL of our money will be for the HoneyMoon and starting life together.

Anyaposh said...

aww, nice. i liked this..saving the link & sending it to my girlfriends on the marriage path!

Miss Natural said...

I got sooo much out of this, asides from the amount of time I spent laughing while reading! This is true talk.