First of all, I would just like to Thank God, the Mighty One, Jehovah Jireh, Jehova Nissi.. the I AM.. for his mercies, and his goodness over my life.. I am truly a living testimony that there is a GOD and that God cares for us.. so if you have any doubt in your heart, please, just consult me and Ill lay my life on the table for you to see that God is Real.. and He is Powerful… Ill tell my full testimony one day….
So today o.. I decided to send messages to a few people that I encountered over the past few days.. if i was slighly bigger and had small muskles, i would have told u masef.. but as i am breakable.. i decided to express my feelings on paper..
DISCLAIMER: if one of the messages relates to you.. no vex ok.. na with love I dey write am..
1)Dear Chinco Food Assistant @ the Chinese restaurant by Barking Roundabout,
No blame me say I dey stuff my bowl with plenty food.. Na ‘eat as much as u like’ u call am.. First of all, u give me small anchor butter bowl make I pour my food inside.if i give ur pikin that kin bowl,u will rain chinese epe on me...
to add insult upon injury..u come dey eye me as I dey pack the rice.. TAKE YA TIME O!! ehen.. infact.. I will not collect that ya nonsense bowl again .. I will bring my own nylon bag when next I am coming to buy my ‘eat as much as you like’…
hiss... Hong Si Fire Choi to u too ( no be so calabar girl??).. chan chan kook..
2)Dear Aunty Nija on the 17.46 eastbound central line train on Monday,
Kai.. stop that nonsense u have on your eye brow,… as in Waaarraa Heeeeeeeell?? PURPLE and WINE eyebrows??? Ehn.. I know u like to-match, me too I like to-match,.. but u really mezzed things up there.. and why on earth where ur eyebrows pointing to the sky?? Ur being watched by Me.. if I catch you in public with those kind of eyebrows again.. ill personally tattoo eyebrows on your face..
I know u are aunty naija becos of the purple 'expressions' rock on ur head... u call that thing hair?? I fit bet with u say if i carry spade dey begin dig that thing.. for sure , for sure.. i go strike oyel (oil)... u no wan bet?.. na u sabi...
3)Dear Couple devouring each other on the 9.15 central line train westbound this morning,:
…Stop CHOPPING LIPS in front of the whole world.. its disgusting... Cant u wait till u get home?? Ehn.. hissssssssss.. Every oppressor shall be oppressed- wey my chinese eyes?
4)Dear Skinny Teenager that bounced into JUDIYA Enterprises Corner shop in Barking on Wednesday evening,
Its not leehu Ribena.. its LITTLE ..T for Tango.. T for Transport , T for Tolagbe. Also for Tutu.. If I hear u say LIHU again.. ill deal with u severely…. U nonsense breeeish init chudrens…..E ma se bii eni ti won sa si.. hisss
Sha I was at client site yesterday.. and OT will never cease to amaze me.. he actually invited me to the Hilton hotel to come and swim becos thier swimming pool is visible thru the reception floor..he siad i should come ...One day when ‘I am less busy’
... ngbati iya swimming pool o je mi? ( trans.. when i am not suffering from lack of swimming pool!!)
OT.. Bimbylads shall never be less busy… shogbo??. in fact.. That reminds me.. did anyone watch Channel 5 documentary 2 days ago? ‘ The Boston Murder Strangler?’…. as MR Oke used to say back then to us in Jss 2.. ‘HAY word is HENUFF for the wise…. The matching song while u go to your class …
.…OT.. OT…OT.. u no sabi werin dey.... u never jam fire..there is norin u can doo.. for I am covered by the blood of Jesus.. oo oooo.. no body can haaaaaarmmmm. meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.. una no go sing along?
Meanwhile, I am seriously thinking that Chinese eyes is a MFFF ( Man- Friend For FOOD) … each time I cook for him.. he begins to bless me with all the blessings of Abraham ,Issac and Jacob…. Ehn.. all this becos of Rice and Obe elepo?? I confirmed my suspicions to him this Morning when he dropped me at the station and he replied with a wet smooch.. …. I kuku told him I will report him to my blogville.. Which I have..(Satisfied Smile).
Okay, eyin hounders, i have updated..all be it a short post.. im hoff to liverpool street to buy some goodies..
P.s: a goodie for the first person to comment.. and its not bournvita and peppersoup... its BIMBYLADS HOUSE SPECIAL OBE ELEPO RICE..