First of all, i think I’m going to start waking up at 4am, and jogging to the station just to get a copy of Metro.. ahn ahn.. That station near my house, im beginning to suspect them of using the metro newspapers to sell akara somewhere. or maybe they supply it to ‘ I wan buy paper , gallon, garawa, people...!
.. Because no matter what time u get to the station, U WILL NEVER FIND A METRO.. In fact, tomorrow, i will go to the station early and sit in the metro box. I will officially hand out metro to people i like.. hiss.
Meanwhile, OT is not in the office today. He is working from home.. somin about emergency.. e be like say the bobo don read my blogi o! becos he’s been acting weird lately.. Psalm 91, Psalm 23, Psalm 1, will not be far from my lips.. so as OT is not around, I can blogggooonn!!
So on my way to work today, as usual, no metro.. So, I entered the train and saw one man in the corner of the train, with a folded metro in his lap.. meen.. omo.... i pushed my way through everyone and squeezed into the seat near him.. NA ME AND U GO SHARE THIS METRO TODAY.. i had to know the latest on the Oscars noooow!
Mr Stingy Metro man first of all relaaaaaaaaxxxedd, then inhaled and exhaled before he slowly opened his metro.. Kai.. i adjusted my neck well well.. i had only 4 stops to get to Bank station where i worked, and i had to read this metro in 15 minutes.
Mr Stingy Metro used 5 minutes to open the paper.. Then he began to shake the paper.. he shook it like 5 times.. And I’m thinking.. ' abi eleyi ni warapa plus Parkinson’s ni?' why on earth are u shaking the paper like a maad man? hiss.... anyway, after shaking the paper off.. he now turned to the back page.. Kai! This man was annnoyyyinng me..
HOW ON EARTH CAN ANY NORMAL HUMAN BEING START READING PAPER FROM THE BACK? WHAT HAPPENED TO FOWARD EVER.. BACKWARD NEVER IN JESUS NAME?... chei... and he remain 2 stops before i go commot for train....after reading his nonsense sports for like 3 agonizing minutes.. he now sloowwwwwwlllyly turned to the front...finally..!
He opened the first page.. Then he noticed my neck straining through the paper to read with him.. he looked at me.. Pushed his glasses up his nose.. then moved closer to the next person...away from me.. then eyed me.. me too i eyed him .. WELL.. hisss.. NA UR MAMA GET THE METRO? U NO SEE FREE NEWSPAPER ON TOP THE PAGE? hissssss... awun oshi..
Na so me and the bobo dey do o.. me shift neck and shift yansh nearer him.. the bobo.. shift yansh and eye me.. lol... Onyiochi.. if not for the fact say i dey get off at the next stop.. i for READ that METRO well well today....
Anyway.. im feeling sooooooo sleepy at work today.. LOW.. u kept me awake all night.. lol.. love u to bits tho!...
so today o, i have started planning my wedding.. una go see pepper.. i mean real planning.. law damsel came to my house over the weekend and saw my tape rule and toaster and she just started to laff.. oya.. dry ur lafter girls and boys.. Miss bimby is on a roll....
ok.. i have a couple of questions.. that I must answer
1) must i dance to oruka!!! when I’m coming into the reception?- my hubby loveeeess that song.. but i can shoot Sonny Nneji now.. cos I’ve heard it like 400 times..
2) Chair covers or no chair covers?- pls seriously consider price in it o.. One frigging chair cover is 5 pounds.. kaka beee.. ill use bed sheet and tie the chairs.. ok.. I’m serious.. Forget price.. Chair covers or no chair covers?
3) What can one give out as wedding favors?
4) im not having bridesmaids.. BUT can I have someone who will hold my dress for me when im walking down the aisle.. Without her being a bridesmaid?....
To digress small, this weekend,... Law damsel and i went to Nandos for a nice uplifting dinner.. she had not eaten all day.. and i was scared for her welfare..
MR O.. IF UR READING THIS... VOLTRON BIMBS IS WATCHING/ STALKING U.. AMO GETCYA.. AMO GETHYA.. FOR BREAKING MY BABY'S HEART... ( pointing 2 fingers in my eyes)
So that’s how we got to Nandos o.. and law damsel, being the sepe sepe figure 8 that she is.. she still attracted blokes with her swollen eyes.. as we sat in nandos waiting for our order.. one very very very yellow bobo- SCRATCH THAT.. .. orange bobo just came and sat next to her..
He looked at her closely and said.. Why are u sad? u look sad.. And she was like.. no I’m not sad.. Then he asked her for her name.. And started to try and toast her small small.. so me i glared at him, and eyed him up and down.. he now asked lawdamsel ' why is ur friend eying me like that?'.. law damsel was too tired to answer so me ( trust me noow)...i jumped in..
' i did not eye u.. My eyes naturally roll up and down’. Yes o.. And my mummy and the queen are twins……….
Anyway, law damsel excused us and went to sit down for the meal.. He smiled at me and said.. 'hmm.. ur friend.. u know....( shy laughter) I want to come and sit with her..!
i said.. 'nooo o.. dont come.. We are not friends o.. we are long lost sisters.. We just found each other ( I almost added on e-bay),We lost touch 10 yrs ago and we have only just met.. we need to catch up..'
Foolish orange boy.. he sha went to sit down in one corner.. but he got up like 40 times to come and collect ketch up ( the ketch up place was near our table).. GO LAWDAMSEL.. U SEE.. !! UR A CHICK ANYDAY.. EVEN IF ITS ORANGE BLOKES.. lol..
okay. .. ive paid my dues on blogger today..