16.9.10

Deal and then some.

Okay... I think I have made you guys wait long enough for this Adunni story....and its time I came out with a deal.... Yup. You and I are going to make a deal.

So, here is the situation. I am working on another story, and because of that, I have had no time for Adunni and her wahala.Trust me,she knocks on my head everyday to remind me to save her from Princess and Madam's trouble... but I just don't have that much time to work on both stories...and all my domestic activities and work at the moment.  When I started Adunni story, I had absolutely no intention of posting the entire story online. I still don't. My plan was, and still is, to post excepts of about 10 chapters on line... just enough to get your very helpful feedback. But even that is proving difficult with trying to juggle everything...and I am terrible at multitasking..

So. Here is the deal. I will continue to blog as normal, but now and then,I'll surprise you with a chapter or two of Adunni until I have exhausted the chapters I planned to share. Deal or no deal?  DEAL!!! yay!! thank you. kiss kiss. for your wonderful co-operation,  I promise you won't have to wait too long for it.

Ok.. enuff of English. A few nights ago, I told Chinese eyes a story and afterwards, he asks me... have you shared this on your blog? and I realised that I hadn't. So today, I'm gonna tell you about something that highly embarrassed me a few years ago.

You see, I have plenty gap in my teeth. Na so God create me.
If I smile, you will see small dark lines in my mouth.It is not tooth decay o. It is space.
And it even gets worse further inside my mouth.... huge looking gaps that can sit a whole maggi cube.
Of course now, if you have gap inside your mouth and you eat plenty meat like me,it is by force for you to be picking your teeth a lot. 
And me, I don't send. If my teeth needs picking, I pick it anyhow, anywhere... with my hand. All I do is open my mouth wide, and begin to uproot the stranded meat with my fingers... and when I grab  the meat, I will pull it out, inspect it small and then chew it again. Commot there!..As if you don't do it...pshew!

So one day like this, I decide to go to the library and because there was this cute looking brother in the library that I had a huge crush on.... I took time to dress well well.
Even wore some funky looking wig that itched the life out of me..anything to catch this brother's attention ni o. ( not Chinese eyes. This was waaay before Chinese eyes)

I get to the library nice and early, scan quickly for a nice spot where I can scope this very fine brother from. I find one: behind a huge pillar.
It is good enough to hide my wanton eyes.

A few hours later, I decide to have lunch: a chicken sandwich and a drink.
Of couse, plenty meat entered my mouth,so I returned to my seat, checked well to make sure our fine looking brother wasn't looking at me.
He wasn't. Infact I don't think he even knew I existed.
Fine. I sat down and bent my head so that the pillar will hide me very well.
Then I opened my mouth very wide and began to dig for the meat. chai, I dug and dug...but the meat was very stubborn o. I will catch it, pull it and pull it, but the thing no budge.
By the time my whole hand was drenched in saliva, I had to stop for air.
Then I looked around the library: What can I use to remove this nonsense chicken from inside my mouth o? All of a sudden, * light bulb moment*....I realised I could use a book. Yes... the sharp edge of one of the pages of a book could push the chicken out of my mouth for me sharp sharp.

I picked up a book, separated a page and began to slice through my teeth with it. I sliced tire.
The chicken no gree come.
And books no get strength. Once you slice one through, it gets wet and weak and you have to take another page.
By the time I had reached like ....page 100, I heard footsteps behind me.  Yeee!!! The bloke was coming towards me.
The fine looking brother! And I was here sawing my mouth with library book??
Kiya, Kiya, I dropped the book on the table and wiped my mouth.
And then I sat up, adjusted my wig and batted my eyelashes.
As he came closer, my heart was pounding, but I frowned my face and posed. I had made up my mind....if he should dare ask me for my number, I will make him beg. 
He had to know that Bimbylads was no easy catch. Yes ke. I am a chic to the core.
He got to my  table... I vexed even more.
He reached for his pocket..... pulled out a piece of paper and placed it, ever so gently on my table.
And then he disappeared. Before I could even open my mouth. 
I veeexxxeeed. Who did he think he was? Slamming his phone number on my table??? What for? For me to call----- wait o! I looked at the paper closely.
Egba mi. It wasn't his phone number o. Wetin be this?
I tore the paper apart and when I saw what was inside I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  
The guy had left me....
A TOOTHPICK!!
A TOOTHPICK?
ONE SINGLE STICK OF TOOTHPICK??!!!.
CAN you imagine the nonsense boy? So all the while that I was yanking my mouth with library book,this guy was watching me and maybe feeling sorry for this girl that cannot afford 15pence toothpick?!! HA!
God deliver us  from people that watch us in secret o. Awon enemies of progress.
Ofcourse, no one told me before I carried my bags and marched out of the foolish library. Hiss.

Anyway, that was about 10 yrs ago...before I met sophistication.
Now I use floss.....and things.

What's your highly embarrasing story?

xxx
Bimbylads

16 comments:

Myne Whitman said...

Shey you see how I'm stalking this blog eh? LOL @ your story. You sabi gist sha, I was laughing my head off.

BiMbyLaDs** said...

lol@Myne! No vex. You know how it is now...working on two stories is hard work.I'll have something up hopefully by the end of this week...

The experiences of an achiever....... said...

OMgoodness Bimby Why???????????? Roflol!!!!!!!
Oh and NO DEAL!!!

Miss A said...

LWKMD... too funny...please update us as per Adunni o!

Maid of Heart said...

Lol. That was too funny.

Yah! Glad to have you back.

Nonso said...

Nothing short of hilarious! The guy was very helpful, don't you think?

'God deliver us from people that watch us in secret o' hahahaha. and to think you started that.

Great piece!

Taciturn Turned Talkative
http://www.uononso.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

lol at ur story. u shuld have torn a piece of d paper nowww. still laffin at d story. tins we do for men.....

Omotee! said...

LDKMDF!
so funny!

DarLyn said...

Welcome back,
I, on behalf of the entire blogville, accept the deal :)
I came late today now everybody else got here before me :(

As always I could not stop laughing at your narration of the library incident, when he was to notice he was busy forming busy, nonsense.
LOL

LG said...

lolllllllllllllllllllllll awon enemies

aloted said...

o ti funny ju! lol

chei!

Anonymous said...

Iya Jebu, that will teach you not to pick teeth in the lib. loool,

pawpawandmango said...

Ouch! or should that be Owshhh!!!
I am cringing on your behalf, I wish I could share how this guy I was posing for walked in on me doing a number 2- I can't, and I won't!

Jaycee said...

Deal.

Lol @ your floss story.

Sele Akobo(curvyice) said...

hillariously funny.cracking my ass up....

thisisthediaryofanotmadblackwoman said...

LOooooL


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